How to drive someone crazy from 1100 miles away

12 December 2007

Too much yarn?

I recently read Zarzuela's post about overwhelming stash anxiety. And it got me to thinking, how much yarn is too much yarn for me? Of course, I realize that "too much" is an incredibly subjective term. One knitter's too much is another knitter's just right, and some knitters use yarn to insulate their houses, so really, it's about finding what works for you. I have a few guidelines for determining your personal value of too much yarn:
  1. Will you die before it all gets knit? Do you like your knitting friends well enough to leave them your stash in this event? If you think you are not enough enamored of your friends to leave your treasure behind, consider either making better friends, lowering your standards, being buried with the stash, or destashing. Your non-knitting friends and relatives will not understand what to do with your laceweight.
  2. Does your stash present a hazard or discomfort to those you live with? Will passing children get tangled and strangle in the stash? Do you often lose pets in the stash? Do your housemates have enough room for their own possessions? If you answer yes, there are some subjective factors to consider: do you really like children all that much? Were those pets just troublemakers? And as to the housemates, when did they get so materialistic that they need all that stuff taking up your potential stash storage space? Of course, we must always consider the spatial needs of others when we co-exist in the same quarters, but perhaps they are not really considering your needs. One only realizes an other's selfishness when being selfish themselves. If this all makes you a bit uncomfortable, it may be time to destash.
  3. Do you continue to purchase stash-enhancing items even though you have been living on ketchup-covered saltines and coffee with sugar stolen from the gas station? If your stash is taking up more of your money than is wise and frugal for your needs, then you must consider some of these factors: How much am I saving on heating the house by letting the yarn insulate it? Wasn't it time I dropped ten pounds anyway? By letting the car get repossessed, aren't I helping the environment by not emitting dangerous greenhouse gases? Who needs to buy insurance when you know you prefer to live on the edge? Can't you sell some blood or something? If you haven't got enough money to support the growing stash, you may consider destashing.
  4. Do you look at the stash with despair when you realize your tastes in yarn have changed since you bought 700 miles of synthetic suede? Did you buy a holy-cow large amount of novelty yarn when you were a new knitter and now realize that if it ain't simple wool, it ain't you? If your stash no longer suits your needs and personal style, ponder these things: Can you trade some of that hideous fun fur to a new knitter for a simple ball of Aurora 8 and a lesson (trying not to utter the word "sucker" much over your breath)? Should you donate the offending yarn to a local preschool in hopes that karma will bring you a windfall of soft organic cotton? If you aren't willing to chance bargaining with the universe, it may be time to destash.
  5. Have you considered that the problem is not that you have too much yarn, but not enough needles? Perhaps not enough patterns?

In thinking all this through carefully, and closely examining the stash to realize that I have five women's sweaters, two men's sweaters, three baby sweaters, four pairs of socks, two shawls, two pairs of mitts or gloves, one scarf, five or six or nine hats, three bags, a bathrobe or blanket (haven't decided), and twice that much yarn in "stuff with potential", I feel I have just enough stash. We should not, however, ask Yoshi his opinion on the subject.


Blogger KnitterBunny said...

Hmmm, I don't see the 16 laceweight shawls in there though. lol

Very entertaining post, spot on Dragon!

3:31 PM

Blogger Jessica said...

LOL! OMG I love this. Much better take on stash than mine. :) Thanks for the smile. :)

9:42 AM


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