How to drive someone crazy from 1100 miles away

03 July 2006

Who's afraid of the big bad gauge swatch?

As promised, gauge swatch philosophy.

There are knitters who abhor the gauge swatch. They despise the time it takes out of their actual project-making, will do anything to get out of it (even resign themselves to scarf hell), and simply have general disdain when confronted with this simple little practice round that will save them whole days of their lives later. And this is really how I feel about them, too, to be perfectly honest. A gauge swatch sucks the life out of you. However, there are no gauge swatches.

There are, however, the world's most useful coasters.

Every time I cast on a gauge swatch, I think to myself how nice this coaster will be. My glass of ice water is currently residing on the tiny representative of the Purple Felted Monster; Yoshi's drinks live atop his Fair Isle hat wannabe, done up in a mitered square. If I can only convince myself that what I am making is more useful than giving me gauge (not that gauge is useless, mind you, just annoying) then I can happily knit 4-inch squares until the second coming of Elvis. I even buy extra yarn (gasp!) to be sure I have enough to not have to frog the coaster for the sake of the project. If it is anything feltable, I go ahead and felt the sucker. Then I back it with this self-sticky craft foam to insure it's waterproof-i-ness (no, not really a word) and therefore it's usefulness on an actual table where a coaster would be used. It comforts me.

No, I am not stupid enough to believe my own psychological tricks, but dammit, it works. What do you have that works? Then shut up.

You know what else? I have a working and useful sort of project journal, and you can't take that away from me. Although it may be weird when someone asks me if my sweater matches my coaster on purpose. Because I am so not that girl. And, it's a stash buster if you need one.

There are no problems, only challenges to which we must rise. There is no ugliness, only unexpected forms of beauty. And there are no gauge swatches, only very useful and elaborate coasters.
Now, go chant some Amidas and then do something useful with your time in a very Zen-like state.


Coming attractions! Next time, Dragon's adventures with KoolAid Dyeing! or, the Electric KoolAid Acid Swatch! Coming soon to a blog near you, in vivid TechniColor with pictures! Let's all just hope I don't dye the cat, okay? I am soooo looking forward to tomorrow.


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