How to drive someone crazy from 1100 miles away

24 June 2006

Rock Star to Rock Star

Henry,

Have you noticed that when knitters suck, they blame the pattern? "Oh, Stitch N Bitch, blah blah blah," with no recognition of their own incompetence.

Take my knitter, for example. She dragged me from the depths of the unfinished bin today, where I've been hanging out. Half-done slippers, and a mountain of crappy acryllic atop me fror the last year, and she finally feels guilty and digs me out for a picture. A picture. Yeah, she bitches about the pattern being written for flat instead of in the round (like she could have managed four stitches on dpns), but come on. How hard is it, really? Each pieces is like 4 inches square. How lame.

Dude, just hang in there. She'll quit making excuses after a while. Maybe you'll even get finished. Not like me, man. She's just going to dump me back in the bin.

Yours,
Joey


Dear Joey,

Sucks to be you, man. Good luck getting a head. Still barely a torso, myself. At least you have one leg to kick some ass with.

And I refuse to believe that four stitches on DPNs is an unmasterable skill. I just can't get behind that.

Henry

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