The things that I do while wasting my life

And this is what I am on about today:

1. I am avoiding taking the car in for an oil change. It is just too boring to deal with on my precious day off. I'll go in about an hour.
2. I am really cranky about a pattern in the Fall '06 Vogue Knitting. Page 85. These socks do not match. There is only one chart for the colorwork, and it's not the one I like. What's the point of buying the mag if I have to figure out the color chart from a friggin' picture? I really like the front sock, but not so much the back sock, and we can all figure it out from there.
3. I am still bitching about those socks. I don't understand the toe or heel construction, and I fear it will be one of those things I have to learn by doing it, which means many nights of squinting at the pattern as it rests in the cookbook holder (we all have our methods) and trying to figure out what line of tiny text I just read. It looks like what I imagine a short-row toe and heel must be, but having no experience in these methods, how the hell do I know? I see a visit to the yarn shop lady in my near future if I decide to make these.
4. I am really, really happy for Stephanie and Joe. Notice, I am not including the link. If you are reading this, you know exactly who I am talking about, and what. If you don't, call me and I will teach you to knit in your spare time, and you will naturally progress in Stephanie's direction.
5. I am really, really awed that she decided to pull off finishing the book, the event from #4, as well as two major knitting projects all within, like, two days of each other. Makes me feel like a slacker. Oh, wait... I am a slacker. That explains it.
6. In fact, I am such a slacker that I really really hope there is an afterlife so I can totally waste that, too.
7. I have figured out what to wear to Rhinebeck. But not what to read on the plane. I have decided not to risk having any needles taken away from me in the interest of airline security. I will just have to survive the three hour flight without knitting. If Swan can do Yom Kippur, then this heathen can certainly do non-stop from Orlando to Hartford.
8. The mitt is so close to done that I have only six inches of my own yarn left and cannot wait until I get a package from Swan with the remaining yarn. So excited to finish them. Hatred for the second mitt has completely dissipated due to everyone in my house being really supportive and impressed at the reversed cable. Little do they know, it's only a matter of holding stitches to front or back. HAAAA, HAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAH! Hey, I'll take encouragement wherever I can find it.
9. I love Swan's new socks. They are adorable.
10. I watched a really creepy and awful Japanese movie the other night called Audition. I hated it. Especially the torture scene; I couldn't find a larger meaning behind any of it (excepting perhaps the naivete of the main character, to which we are somehow meant to relate?), which is usually what makes horror movies bearable for me. But this one seemed a bit senseless. God, I hope I am missing something.
11. No, really, I cried when I saw Dawn of the Dead. Yoshi will never let me live it down. That's what I want in a horror movie; a little emotional complexity and passion. Oh, and Paris Hilton dying immediately.
12. Movie was pretty damn sexist, too.
13. The eggplant has come back into ridiculously huge full bloom. It is currently bearing somehting like 9 Ichiban eggplants. I can cut them off in about a week, provided the caterpillars don't come back.
14. Sadly, the cucumbers fell prey to the caterpillars. They now look like stringy green sticks sticking two inches out of the ground with cobwebs travelling up the trellis. So much for pickles.

And that's about it.