How to drive someone crazy from 1100 miles away

24 July 2006

Walter on the shitlist

I may have to kill Walter. Poor child doesn't even know it's coming.

Saturday, while I was at work and wondering what I was doing there, Walter's mommy decided to clean up the house. So, while vacuuming, Walter took advantage of the turned back and got hold of the lace. My lace. Which it took several hours of un-Walter filled space and time for me to even get to the second repeat.

She pulled it halfway off the needle. Let me give you all a moment to absorb that, and catch your breath.

Walter's mommy found her waving it over her head like a flag, just twirling away, happy as can be to destroy several hours of my hard concentration. She yelled in a spirit of either horror or discipline, I am not sure which, or if there was a difference. Walter cried. Mommy tried (badly) to get the stitches back on the needle. At least she tried, but she has only mastered a purl and k2tog on her last project, and lace is not part of her knitting education yet. We have completely lost a stitch marker, and for the life of me I cannot find two lost stitches.

The gals at the Knitty Coffeeshop Forum have tried to help and console, but I am going to need more than help on this one. I am going to need several hours of Walter-free house, quiet and undistracted to pull it back and fix it. And a box of Kleenex with the lotion in it for all the tears I plan to shed while pulling the rows back to a comprehensible place from which to go on. And a tiny, tiny crochet hook, which thanks to a lovely trip to North Carolina, I have already.

The plan is to pull back (I can't stand the term ripping back, it just sound too violent for what I want to happen) to a plain purl row, and pick up very slowly and carefully while unknitting a row. After which I have to figure out what row I am on now, run a lifeline, and put a padlock on a knitting basket so this never, ever happens again.

If this doesn't work, Walter will definitely lose a finger.

I hear Yarn Harlot had a similar experience recently, so at least I am repairing in good company.


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