How to drive someone crazy from 1100 miles away

04 June 2006

And now I am immortal...

There is a knitting superstition that if a knitter finishes all of her projects (let's not worry about the gender specifications, I am not playing the dumbass his or her game; can we assume I am talking about me?), she will die. If a knitter dies unexpectedly in the middle of a project, someone who loves her will have to finish it because the piece will call her back from the grave or some such nonsense. But, I am going to address the first silly belief I mentioned, because Cyn gets real nervous when I tell her I finished something else without casting on something new.

I hate the process of casting on. Now, before anyone starts to bully me with positive-thinking bullshit about the start of a new day and endless possibilities and the magic of my craft, hear me out. Then shove it, because I hate that shit. Why must it be that no one will accept that I feel a certain way about casting on? It isn't the project itself, or that I am intimidated or afraid of commitment to another scarf when the last one hurt me so bad; it is barely emotional at all, unless you count the frustration. I hate the motion, the process, the stupid counting and double counting and the long-tail cast on with its possibilty of wasted yardage, or awkward acrobatic yarn manipulation if I measure out too much tail or too little. And God forbid, waaay too little and I have to cast 160 little fuckers back onto the needle I just ripped them off of. Now, before you go saying "try another cast on method", just keep in mind that I am not a complete moron, and may have done that. I hate the funny twistedness of knitting on, and to general hell with purling on. Cable cast-on? Fuck that shit, too. Same dumbass motion. Crochet, you say? How have you made it this far without me slapping you silly? Shut up and accept it, I hate to cast on.

Oh, once I get going, I am utterly enamored of my work, but it's the starting.

So, what happens is, I have no such issue with binding off. I can bind off like it's nobody's business. So, I don't put it off or avoid it or have to take an entire mental health day off work just to bind off. Like I do for casting on. And this is why the Swan entertains a lovely and charming little paranoia (if not a tiny hope; she will get all my stash, after all) concerning my death.

So, Cyn, rest easy. I spent several hours yesterday CASTING ON. I also worked a couple rows of each thing so I wouldn't tempt the superstition that states that a project stopped in the cast on row will never be completed. I started the bag for felting, a doll for Yoshi, and a sweater for Yoshi. I will start the Christmas stockings for Yoshi and me in the next few days, as my needles finally came (yayy!), as well as another felted bag. Oh, and the Chinese dragon bag? Got that yarn in the mail, too. So, do not fret. I will live forever now. I can never die.

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