Swan and Dragon

This is so going to be so worth it.

2009-02-09T10:49:00.007-05:00

Howdy, kids. Long time no post. I'm sure you've gotten along fine; you certainly do look well.

My best friend is preggers. I'm pretty psyched. Nothing like more children in my life that I can love and adore without the pesky task of raising them correctly. Being Crazy Aunt Lisa is a wonderful thing; I get all the fun and zero headaches. Now, don't get me wrong; I worry about the little buggers. It's just that when Cyn is having a mom-freak-out that her teenagers are hanging with the wrong crowd, I get to be the one who actually is the wrong crowd. I have dibs on teaching all her children to swear properly and sneak out their windows without being heard throughout the house.

One very cool aspect about Cyn is her sense of nostalgia. When she wanted to learn to spin, she went for a spindle not for ease of use or portablility, but she said to me "because that was the first way to do it." She gets back to basics while maintaining thoroughly modern. She takes advantage of technologies, but is pleased and able to shun them when it is her longing to do so. I know people who couldn't get through their day without their tv, iPod, cell phone, laptop, PSP, whatever, but if Cyn were transported through time to an age before electricity, she could mesh right in, no problem. After temporal displacement wore off, of course.

This has something to do with her sense of wonder, I think. She and I agree that there are not enough mysteries left in our day-to-day lives and that has made people impatient, malcontent, and ungrateful. Twenty years ago, if you woke up in the middle of the night and for the life of you couldn't remember the name of the horse in The Never Ending Story*, well, you'd just have to deal with that until you ran into someone who would know, or ran into a video store and read the back of the box in hopes that it would be there, or wait until it came on WGN in a mid-Saturday movie to remember. Or it would come to you out of your own sense of cognition! Imagine! Now, we just check Wikipedia, and blammo, instant gratification. No patience, no communication and subtle connections formed with your friends, none of that. Just Wiki and back to bed. Something about this can't be good for you.

She doesn't want to know the gender of the new little one (whom we are simply calling Poppie). Can you picture the general madness all around her? Her mom is completely losing it, her friends are busting their seams, and she is stressed out enough with pregnancy and real life happening around her that she doesn't need this crap. She believes she will know in good enough time. She believes that this mystery will inevitably solve itself. She wants to reconnect to some of the magic of pregnancy that has maybe been stripped away by our impatience to buy pink or blue things for the baby. She is going to truly savor that moment in delivery when the doctor shouts "It's a {insert appropriate gender here}!!!" while for other mothers, that triumphant cry may only be a formality.

It's her pregnancy, her baby, her decision. I think she should run this special time in any way she sees fit. I think she has a good bit of support from her husband on this, as well, but I get the idea he'd really like to know, too. Honestly, I'm not 100% on where he stands with the whole issue of his issue, but I do know he doesn't appreciate his wife being harassed about it by friends and family. I think she should do what she wants. She is Sensible Mommy, and Sensible Mommy should always prevail when it comes to her children.

Don't get me wrong. I would love to knit for this baby. I would love to make dainty little dresses or manly little sweaters and hats; love to tease her about names and whether the Handsome and Charming nephew has a brother or sister. I'd also like to know. But once you know, you know forever, and not knowing only lasts until you know. I like the idea that we will all know soon enough. I may be the only one, but I fully support this decision she's made for her pregnancy, and revel in it. Which brings us to our final point of irony.

In a fit of "dear Lord, someone should know", Cyn had her doctor write the gender on a paper and seal it in an envelope. She thought she might be able to keep it safe until a little later in the pregnancy (she's due June 21), but temptation may get the best of her. She thought maybe give it to her husband, but as soon as he knew, she'd be able to tell what it was, as they see each other every day and know each other fairly well (tee hee). So, of all people, she is mailing it to me. Because I'm strong enough to not tell her. Because I am far enough away and not expected to be seen until after Poppie comes along. Because I support her in this. So, I'm going to do my best to not open the letter. Of course, I want to open the letter. But do I need it for my own convenience and to satisfy my own curiosity? No, not really. But the world does need more wonder. I'm throwing mine in.

What would you do?

*Artax. And in case your thought processes go the same way mine did, the Luck Dragon was Falcor.

FOs for this man are few and far between.

2008-10-19T19:14:00.005-04:00

Doesn't Yoshi look nice in his new cardigan?

I simply couldn't watch him pretend he wasn't cold all winter again. He will go out in January (yes, possibly a whole 40 degrees chilly here) in a t-shirt and jeans and walk around outside with his hands shoved into his pockets, arms held tight at his sides, and tell me I'm not cold.
Oh, please. Whatever. Darling, you have no sleeves.

Now I'll know better. That would be a truly seamed raglan cardigan (pattern of my own devising), worked bottom up, size 7 needles, with Shadyside Farms homespun yarns in Rose Grey and Cinnamon. They may or may not be at Rhinebeck this year; I am having an issue with their calendar page. Hope you find them; I won't be getting the chance this year.

Sadly, this year there is no Rhinebeck for me. Some serious miscommunication has led me not to plan to go. Yes, I am severely pouty about the whole situation, and I am a bit embarrassed about the pouting, so let's not discuss it in depth so I don't have to feel like a very small-hearted person, mmmm-kay??

Here's what I'll be doing instead:

This mitten needs a mate. Then the happy couple needs to go find itself a new home in Connecticut, where CygKnit lives, and keep her hands warm for a winter or three.

There was some dragonfly jewelry made...

I think it still needs a good bit of tinkering before I get it to lay correctly on my neck. But you get the idea., yes? Deep red cat's eye with gold dragonfly charms and embellishments.

And then there's the swatching. The really bad, mostly ugly swatching.

That's a terrible thing to do to a ball of Silk Garden, I know, but it was misbehaving. And I feel a need for chunky lace.

New job going fine, birthday was good, all else is well. 'Kay, bye.

The wind up and the pitch

2008-09-28T08:16:00.002-04:00

Man, I hated that insurance job.

Let me correct myself: I loved, loved, most of the people I worked with. I tried to do the best job I could with the resources I found, and a job well done is always enjoyable.

But it did not stimulate me. It did not send me home with a sense of accomplishment. Why not? It was a reasonable job, a job for adults, a job with special requirements. I gave people what they really needed. I did it with good cheer. Why did I come home every night with this lurking sense of panic and depression and a need for escape?

I tell people that it was a growed-up job and I'm not interested in being a growed-up. I tell people it was a bad fit. I tell people a lot of things.

I don't know one hundred percent why I could not do that job anymore. It may have something to do with my boss, my need for movement (I don't belong at a desk, is another thing I tell people), my liberal ideals, the more than $10,000 per year pay cut. But I could simply not be there anymore.

So, in this economy, I quit. In a town where many national chains have closed the doors on their corporate-owned restaurants and competition for servers is a total bitch, I went looking for a serving job. And I landed the first one I tried for, thanks to connections and being flippin' awesome. I start tomorrow at the one of the highest grossing restaurants in the area. It may be the only restaurant in town that is not down for it's second- and third-quarter sales this year. I'm pretty excited.

I've received worse news than finding out all I want to do is be a waitress. And this may actually be a gateway; working less hours for better money may mean I would have time to open an Etsy shop. Or go back to school. Or buy a home. Or have time to go vote, see a dentist, or get my drivers' license updated. Or buy groceries. You know, the extras in life.

Wish me luck. I'll probably be here more often now that I won't wish I was dearGodanywhere else.

So then the other thing happened

2008-06-19T18:26:00.002-04:00

Not since April? And I'm not even interesting right now; no pictures or anything. Sorry, but I suck a little.

The job has taken a weird turn. The super nice lady who hired me has sold me into white slavery, and to her new husband, of all people. I am working furiously at a holding office for the insurance company I work for, with the plan of taking a pile of policies to his new office. And by working furiously, I mean being bored enough to want to see what happens when I pop out my own eyeballs and try to make music by plucking at my optic nerve. I hear that when the new office opens, we are going to be balls to the wall busy, but for now, I dream of string music.

Knitting? I started a cardigan for Yoshi, and totally forgot that he will not, under any circumstances, be smaller than he is. Which is 6' 3", about 250#. What was I thinking? Well, certainly not that he is one of those men who will wear nothing but miles of straight stockinette. He wears a lot of raglan-sleeved t-shirts, so when he asked for a raglan cardi, I was all over it. However, being the large man he is, I wanted something with the structure and support of seams, so I have designed a bottom-up pieced-together raglan sleeved golf cardigan in a wonderful handspun yarn I got at Rhinebeck last year. Clicky on the right side to see their etsy shop. I have about fourteen million yards of two different colors of a wool-alpaca blend I am working with, and MAN ALIVE is it ever the softest handspun I ever did work with. Unfortunately, the structure I wanted does not exist in pattern form anywhere in this dimensional plane, so I am cobbling together what I can (read: doing very bad math).

Cygknit sent me a lovely color of Patons Soy-wool Stripes, the natural violet, and I made a lacy little hat. Sadly, I cannot find the color in Florida, so she is winging another ball my way as soon as she can, so I can make matching mittens. And really, it's probably just as well I can't find more; the hat kind of makes my head look like a penis. Hey, man, you just can't pair up those colors in closely fitting headwear and not expect a phallic appearance.

Other stuff? I made a first birthday gift for my charming and handsome nephew, but since I suck and have as yet to mail it, there are no pictures yet. I've been stringing together lots of jewelry, learned to stitch beads (peyote, anyone?), and came up with a master plan to help save up for my nephew's college education. More on that if Cygknit ever has time between mommy and masters degree to set up her etsy shop. If only I had the time and wherewithal to do it for her... but I don't want to be presumptuous. All things in their time, I suppose. Like another blog post. Wonder when that'll be?

Snails are the new black

2008-04-05T08:59:00.004-04:00

I am convinced that these little snails can and will take over the world. This is actually Snail #2, as Snail #1 never made it home from work with me. I made this one for Yoshi (you can tell by the depressing colors he chose, although it was in my stash). It matches his Xmas Stocking. Seriously, these little buggers use up leftover stash (too short to use, too long to throw out kind of stuff), are quick and easy (less than an evening of tv watching), and you can put little magnets in them if you so desire.

Free pattern here. Only thing I changed was to throw in another decrease row on the shell at row 20 and I used worsted to get a MegaSnail (ha! inch and a half tall!). And I picked up some heavy duty magnets at the craft store and put one in the body of Snail #1, so he could crawl up my cabinet at the office.

I do see a few more snails in my future; they are just too cute. And seriously, who throws out a quarter of a ball of Noro Iro when there are snails to be made?

Quickie

2008-03-19T18:36:00.003-04:00

So, as much as insurance school was a big nap for me, my job just got a lot more interesting. Funny how having a frail grasp on what's going on can do that. It's nothing more than the fact that I know what they are talking about now. What's more, I can respond in kind. It's supernaturally weird.

And to Ms. Heather, who complimented me very nicely (thanks for that!) and wants to know what I don't like about memory wire: It makes me feel like the wire connecting my brain to my body is choking me a little. I like the look, it's smooth and even and nice, but I feel like a Frankenstein monster with a conduit around my neck that wants to self-destruct me, and dangling a heart at the center didn't help that illusion one bit. If you like memory wire, more power to you and, sister, you are welcome to it, because I don't think it is for me in a way that being battery-powered isn't for me.

Just sayin'.

How I survived the weekend

2008-03-16T20:20:00.003-04:00

Ladies and gentlemen, I have just completed (da-dada-DAHHHHH!!) insurance school.

It was hard(ish). It was tedious. It was necessary. And now, it is over. Excepting of course the continuing education.

So, to make life a little easier, I'll show you some (crappy) pictures of some of the jewelry I designed. It really takes the edge off.

Giant wooden beads, pink-peach shells or rocks or whatever, and some little white shell beads you can't really see in this blurry little photo, but trust me, they're there. And that's the wire to the lamp in the corner; I may turn it into an uber-punk choker some day (jk).

I don't think I really like the memory wire. This pressed flower pendant was Yoshi's idea, and I like it a lot, so I may re-purpose it.

Okay, I can't do much more than lie on the couch for a while now, I learned too much about coverages and risk (that I never even knew I wanted to know) to be able to entertain you properly.

Yoshi needs...

2008-03-08T20:22:00.004-05:00

According to Yoshi, all things Hawaii are good. He was born on Oahu, military brat that he was, and moved to the continental States when he was three. He swears he remembers sunsets that look just like postcards, but I sometimes suspect he is actually remembering, ahem, postcards.

But all things Hawaii must be good, according to him. Polynesian mythology. Magnum P.I. Tiki gods and hula girls. Lost on ABC. Pork baked with pineapple, pot stickers, and really, most Hawaiian cooking. Maybe he'd like surfing if we were the outdoorsy type, but seriously... we are strictly an air-conditioned couple.

So when a pair of Yoshi's pyjama pants gave up the fight to cover his arse, I knew I had to make him some in a Hawaiian print (because there is no freaking way I will knit pants for a six foot three inch man, no matter how well he cooks, and who would want that, anyway?). So, I went looking at the local craft-and-fabric mega mart for anything manly yet tropical.

It took three or four trips to figure out that there are no tiki-god prints at JoAnn's. I didn't want to buy fabric online, because I can't feel it and don't feel confident enough about it to spend some of my hard-earned on a not-necessarily-sure thing (did I mention the drastic pay cut I am currently laboring under? I think I called it slight last post, before my first check came through, with all the taxed taken out...). So I brought Yoshi with me, and he somehow found the only remotely masculine floral print I have ever seen, as well as a super easy sewing pattern for my newbie skills to sharpen themselves upon.

Anyone know how to re-furbish these to have a quick-removal rip cord without him noticing? I think Velcro would be a little obvious... ; )

He loves them. Which means, I love them. And of course, now he wants the matching robe.

Completely change your life

2008-03-02T08:48:00.005-05:00

Anyone wonder where I've been? I've been very busy starting a whole new life for myself.

I have, after much debate and angst, finally given up waitressing. I know, I'm surprised too, but I thought it was time to not be a thirty-one-year-old waitress. There isn't a lot of future in it, not much growth potential. I will miss it, I am sad to say. I loved the hustle, the fast pace, the way I always felt like I was a part of someone's celebration. I was a good waitress (I would say great, but I'm trying to be modest here). I could make or break someone's night. I tried to always feel like I was hosting several little dinner parties a night to keep the job enjoyable, and it usually worked. In fact, pulling off that attitude is exactly what helped me get my new job. I felt it was serendipitous.

One night, I had an absolutely lovely couple at my table. I helped them choose their wine, guided them through the menu (they had no idea what they wanted, I would never tell someone who knows what they want how to order. See, I was good.), left them alone at appropriate times, refilled their glasses without being obtrusive, you know, all those things that make a dining experience good. Just think of the worst server you ever had, and think that I did none of those things. Towards the end, they were finishing up their entrees and I could tel the lady really wanted another glass of wine even though their bottle had been emptied. i politely reminded her that I had her wine available by the glass, and would be happy to split one glass into two so she and her fiance could share. She looked at me and something changed in her expression.

"That's a great suggestion. If it's not inappropriate, can I ask if you like your job?" she says.

"Oh, sure, I love this job," I say.

"If it's not rude, may I ask if I might leave you my business card? I like to hire people like you." she says.

"Oh. Um. I don't know if it's entirely professional of me to... Sure. Go right ahead."

"Just in case." she said with a little smile.

So, a phone interview, two weeks of notice, and some training later, I call her Boss Lady and work in an industry that rhymes with schminsurance. I thought it over and decided it was time for a big girl's job. No, insurance is not terrible fascinating, but was serving steaks and cheeseburgers? It will be what I make it. I now have a desk in a semi-cubicle, get to not go home smelling like barbecue sauce, and have flip-flopped my hours from 4 to midnight to 8:30 to 5:30. I wear actual women's clothing to work instead of buying button-down oxfords in the little boys' section of the department store, and heels instead of non-slip grease resistant shoes. I have taken a slight pay cut for the time being (it's only temporary, and yes, I am still buying yarn). I have actual weekends now, a salary, decent health insurance, and the most important new thing: potential to grow. See, when you start at the bottom, there's nowhere to go but up. Oh, sure, there's out, but negativity never got me anywhere.

All this change has affected the knitting. I've only had the energy to whip out this small baby shower gift.

I present to you, Booties and Bonnet of My Own Devising. I had to make up a bonnet pattern on the fly when I got to work and realized I had brought the wrong length circular needle for the hat I was planning and knew that I had to get some work done on it right now if I intended it to be ready to wrap and go by Saturday. So, I guesstimated measurements and plotted shapes in my mind until I had a bonnet. I even threw a few short rows into the top of the head to account for some roundness. Nice little two-day project for a sweet little baby set.

As for the sewing, well. Fabric is a whole new obsession. I got myself some pink paisley and stripey quilter's cotton and some pale green corduroy, then made this bag out of that book I was raving about for a beautiful girl named Whitney.

(I swear, there's corduroy on the inside.)

It's the Tokyo Tie Bag, and I totally loved it. Loved it so much that after I gave it to Whitney, I missed it terribly and immediately went out and bought black duck cloth and printed flannel to make one for me (slightly larger).

I am crazed for this bag. It's so simple, and the little knot at the top is like a tiny geisha's obi. I did add a patch pocket to the inside of the larger one (b&w), and modified the bottom seam slightly to make it reversible, so sometimes, it looks like this.

Wicked cute, huh? Will you forgive me for not knitting? I have been swatching, I swear... and out of the stash, no less. You'd be so proud of me.

Next time, I will try to take pictures of the finished Square-Necked Blue Sweater of Death and the jewelry I've been making (oh, did I mention making jewelry?).

Silent and lovely

2008-02-03T02:35:00.000-05:00

I am just hours late for St. Brigid's Day, and the silent poetry reading. Enjoy my absolute favorite, all about love, loss and rememberance.

Body, Remember....

Body, remember not only how much you were loved,
Not only the beds you lay on.
But also those desires glowing openly
in eyes that looked at you,
trembling for you in voices-
only some chance obstacle frustrated them.
Now that it's all finally in the past,
it seems almost as if you gave yourself to those desires too-how they glowed,
remember, in eyes that looked at you,
remember, body, how they trembled for you in those voices.

Constantine P Cavafy

Look! I can be taught! (But only by myself...)

2008-01-26T11:31:00.000-05:00

Do we ever have news! And pictures, to boot!

First up, the blocking board came in the mail. Hurrah! These are the pillows I took that entrelac class for (way back in September, I know. Shut up.), stretching themselves into 14x14 squares like little yogis. And breathe....

No, I haven't stitched them together and put in the pillow forms yet, what's it to ya? You can see I decided on single row stripes for the top right one and some mitering while carrying two yarns together for the bottom left, for anyone who recalls me wondering what I wanted to do with them.

Also, I can scratch "First Sewing Machine Project" off my goals for the year. Next up is "Second Sewing Machine Project".

I chose to make a tote bag. Mostly because I wanted a fancy pants knitting bag and couldn't find one in my price range that I actually liked. However, can you classify a large tote bag with no interior or exterior pockets as a fancy pants knitting bag?

If it has some kicky beaded fringe, you can.

Here I am basting something.

Here I am machine stitching something.

And here's the finished product. Tres chic, non?

Fringe detail. I was a little camera happy for a change. I am thinking of slip-stitching the fringe a little tighter, but for now I'm just happy it's done and that I learned.

Yes, there are mistakes, and no, I'm not telling you where they are. Let's just say that someone who doesn't know what they are looking for won't be able to find them.

So I hear a fully lined and interfaced bag made of slicker-than-snot brocade and poly-silk* with a decorative band and beaded fringe detail is not actually a beginner's sort of project, but the last time I listened to the "rules" about that sort of thing, I failed miserably (can anyone say first garter stitch scarf that ended in divorce?). I say, if the end product is something you are going to enjoy using and showing off to your friends (which I already have to many oohs and aahs), then you should go for whatever strikes your fancy. I think I learned a hell of a lot more from trying to figure out what the frack interfacing was and how one works with it than I would have if I'd tried stitching straight lines on paper. Don't get me wrong, I practiced plenty of straight lines and curves (I stole a pile of cotton napkins from work, shhh, don't tell), practiced pivots, read books and blogs and instructions until I thought my eyes would fall out. I bought an entire sewing box full of the recommended goodies and taught myself the use of them all. Then I figured "to hell with all this research" and found myself a lovely book from which to teach myself hands-on (my preferred method of auto-didacticism). If you are thinking of taking up sewing as a hobby, this book is freaking awesome. Diana Rupp writes with personality that never makes you feel like you're being taught as much as guided (very similar to Debbie Stoller's style in Stitch n Bitch). She has a voice that talks to you rather than instructs, and this book never reads like a textbook. She's got some cutey patootey patterns included with the book (one of which is going to be the above-mentioned Second Sewing Machine Project), and her instructions are very thorough. She makes no bones about how the prep work is going to take a lot longer than the actual assembly, and has given me a new appreciation for Martha Stewart's task-mastering with her little tips in a box labelled WWMD? (What would Martha do?). Those little boxes made me giggle while keeping myself organized and neat.

I just want to know, why doesn't she have a show on DIY Network yet? Why isn't she on Styleicious?

*not a real fabric, but slippery-ass polyester blend woven to look like raw shantung silk that I took the liberty of re-naming. You're welcome.

There ought to be some theme music

2008-01-11T17:53:00.000-05:00

For something this freaking great.

Dudes, seriously. You are about to see TWO finished sweater projects on the same blog post from yours truly.
(I'll pause while you squeal with excitement and disbelief)

I know, I feel the same way!!

So, here's the Eyelet Cardigan, bought as a Blue Sky Alpacas kit from kpixie. Seriously, go shop there. They have nice stuff and nice people to sell it to you, and they were a little involved in sweater #2 we will be featuring next.

Did you enjoy my dimples? That's how excited I am to have this sweater; the usual smirk has left my face and left nothing but a sh!t-eating grin behind.

And because I don't think you can quite get enough of it, here's the rear view, with the extra added bonus of my sexy booty.

I do have one issue with it; it's a little big. However, it's knitted cotton, so I think a quick turn in the clothes dryer will shrink it up a little. Tell me if you think I'm wrong.

Just when you thought it couldn't get any better...

I finished Skully (SnB) for Yoshi.

Just look at all that handsomeness, modelling that slightly lumpy sweater (no, it hasn't been blocked yet, I was too excited to take photos while it was still light out).

Yes, he's goofy; yes, he's dorky; yes, he's mine all mine. He obliged me with a shot of the intarsia.

Oh, how I love that man o' mine.

This thing was a total pain in the arse. I actually can't believe Yoshi hasn't fallen down yet, because it weighs something like ninety pounds. I ran out of yarn on the sleeves, made modifications I wish I had never considered, ripped and reworked the neck two-three-five times. But he actually likes it, which I did not at all anticipate. It's not exactly Florida-appropriate, and will be a total bastard to wash (which is why blocking is on the back burner), but he liked the way it looked, and didn't find it particularly itchy. I am flabbergasted.

And if he doesn't really like it, well, damn that boy's convincing and bless his little pea-pickin' heart for wanting me to feel good about it!

Holy ballwinders, that's a lot of in front of the TV knitting. Pardon me while I catch my breath...

Okay, so now that's out of my life. What's next, kiddies? Well, stash overhaul, of course! I think once I get sorted (in a week or two), I'll post all the leftovers here and on the Knitty Coffeeshop Forum and if anyone out there in blogland wants 'em, you can let me know. And I'll send you some loverly Dragon Treasure forthwith.

Oh, crapola, I just realized I have nothing on my needles*. Just look what the WGA strike has done to me.

*nothing on the needles does not mean I have nothing that needs finishing work or blocking, so calm down, I'm not going to die.

Resolutions

2008-01-05T12:44:00.000-05:00

Anyone making New Years' Resolutions out there? Seriously? Why would you wait till now to change your life? Why didn't you just do it when you first thought of it?

Okay, enough of that. I have a few things on my list. I usually don't care at all for this type of thing because I feel that if you want to change, you shouldn't need a special occasion to change upon, you should just change, otherwise you are prolonging your bad habit and will therefore make it that much harder to quit doing whatever it is you do that makes you so damn annoying.

For example, I have "quit smoking on my birthday" every birthday for the last five birthdays. See, in my head, I am self-justified by saying " I don't want to be a thirty year old smoker", but the truth is, I was only twenty-nine years and one day. The difference between one day to another does not make you a full year older; it's a gradual process. As is quiting smoking, apparently, because I am now a thirty-one year old smoker. However, I keep my smoking to a minimum (no more than four cigarettes per day, most days it's three) and have done some research. The scientific fact of the matter is, as little as I smoke is not enough to raise the toxicity levels in my body to a harmful level. At my current rate of consumption, I'd be worse off if I lived in New York City or LA, simply due to environmental hazards in the air. So it's not that I think I'm going to die before I reach thirty-two, or that I am desperately concerned for my pocketbook that the two packs of cigarettes I buy per week (if that) is eating into my stash money. It's that I think Yoshi deserves to go to bed next to someone who doesn't stink. So this is the year I am going to knock this bad habit out of me for good. Get ready for the crankiness to go up a notch or two, because I find that less than two cigarettes a day does put me on edge. I'm sure you will work with me on that.

Next up is the stash. The stash is out of control. I want to be that knitter who has only one drawer of stash, not four (they're really, really big drawers). I feel I am being wasteful by having so much. I also feel that whenever I buy yarn, I am making a commitment to it, to turn it into something useful and beautiful that I actually wanted. I don't want a pile of pretty string, I want knitted things! So really, it has to go by way of knitting it as much as I can. Which may or may not help with the quitting smoking. It must get re-organized, then thrown out, donated or knitted. Again, it's a process, and one I've been talking about for too, too long.

There's another little something on my horizons for this year as well. About two years ago, I bought myself a nice sewing machine. I have no idea how to use it. This year, I am going to learn how to sew simple garments, bags and housewares. This has already been started by buying up a few books at the Barnes and Noble, as well as a pattern for a bag I really want to make. So, the self-teaching is coming back. I figure I taught myself to refinish furniture, knit, built myself a dining room table out of two stained glass windows and sheer force of will, can hang wallpaper and decoratively paint any wall, fix my coffee maker, repaired my couch numerous times, taught myself to bind books, embroider, hand sew stuffed critters out of discarded socks, hey, how tough can teaching myself a machine really be? I am going to do my best to make my sewing machine a little more useful. Even if it means asking the nice girl I work with to come over and show me what to do. I know, socialization, too. What will I think of next?
Is three enough? Quit smoking entirely, bust the stash once and for all, and create a learned return on the investment of my sewing machine? Yeah, that's enough. Let's not get crazy, here.

Next time, pictures of the Eyelet Cardigan, which is quite finished and ready for it's photo shoot, but I am personally in no fit state for picture taking. Maybe I should resolve to get out of bed before one in the afternoon.

Well, that didn't suck

2007-12-29T12:02:00.000-05:00

So, despite all my dread and woe, Christmas didn't suck. The food came out deliciously (crock-pot pot roast and a chocolaty upside down cake, made by me), everyone seemed pleased with their gifts, no one lost an eye. Good times. So, let's move on past Christmas and get to the good stuff.

Knitting content!

Despite my best efforts, I cannot bring myself to do the finishing work on the Eyelet Cardigan. The pattern instructions advise seaming the sleeves and body, then setting in the sleeves, and I thought it was possible they knew more about their own pattern than me, so I did what they told me. Any other cardi in the world wants the sleeves set in first, and now I know why. It is much easier to seam along a curve if you can get the piece to lie flat, rather than standing there like an idiot with a darning needle and trying to wrangle the pieces into some sort of seamable shape. It is not going well, and it pains me that I didn't listen to my instincts, because now most of my ends are woven in and there are only those two stupid setting-in seams to go, and I want to throw the thing across the room at every opportunity. This is not a hobby for the faint of heart. I've picked the first seam out three times, and I fully intend to finish this today. I think the shoulders have some sort of vendetta against me.

I picked up Yoshi's Skully sweater again, since the extra yarn arrived and I can finally finish the sleeves. I way, way over bought this time, and am going to have at least a full skein of Lamb's Pride Bulky in charcoal to get rid of. There's about six inches of straight stockinette to be done, then four rows of garter, two quick seams, and then it's wearable. Oh, and weighs about twelve pounds. I think it will be worn for one picture, then folded lovingly and put away forever. Unless, of course, Yoshi and I decide to go see Cygknit while there is still snow on the ground. Let's hope global warming doesn't ruin it for us.

Oh, and I knit this little tri-cornered roll-brim hat.

It's for my handsome and amazing nephew, shown blocking on a little balloon. Super easy pattern; I just cast on seventeen inches of stitches and made sure the number was divisible by 6, then worked an inch in the round. Threw in a purl ridge to stop the roll, then kept going until I felt like stopping. Threw in three rows that decreased 6 stitches each (spaced by even rows), and then came the bind-off, which is the detail that makes this hat. Put 1/6 of the stitches on a DPN, put the next 1/6 on another DPN. Work a three-needle bind off on these (unless you don't care for the defined edges, in which case a graft will produce a softer edge), and put the last stitch on a safety pin. Do this three times, and the corners pop out nice and sharp. Take those three stitches and weave the end through the first, then pick up a stitch between the first and second to weave (this closes up the little stretched-out holes n the top). Work that all the way around until you're sick of it, duplicate stitching any loose spots. Weave in the ends. Mail to Connecticut and hope to see a picture of the baby in it on his mama's blog. Feel clever.

Here it comes, and here we go again...

2007-12-22T01:01:00.000-05:00

I'm sure you will all recall last year's Christmas fiasco with as much angst as I do. I have really come to dread and despise this wretched holiday, and this year is really no different. I'm not looking forward to any of this at all.
So, why do I keep doing this? My parents are coming to my apartment (just like last year! Yippee!) to do the celebrating (of what, I am not entirely certain), because I have somehow convinced them that the drive is too taxing to come to them, seeing as how in their understanding, I work every freaking day. They are trying to let me get rested by coming to me. Perhaps they don't realize how much work it is to get the place ready for them, then to recover from the visit. I think I keep moving Christmas to my place in a desperate attempt to not have a repeat of Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving was awful this year, let me tell you. In ways I don't want to mention, out of sensitivity to those with weak stomachs. But, it's a Christmas miracle the new and ingenious ways that my incredibly shitty luck finds to make every holiday a new point of misery.
Hear that? It's the sound of me bracing myself. Get used to it, it'll be around for the next four days.
Oh, and I am knitting, but it's really unexciting and not at all interesting, unless Santa brings me a blocking board for Christmas. At which point we will have a new background for all our knitting pictures.

Too much yarn?

2007-12-12T12:05:00.000-05:00

I recently read Zarzuela's post about overwhelming stash anxiety. And it got me to thinking, how much yarn is too much yarn for me? Of course, I realize that "too much" is an incredibly subjective term. One knitter's too much is another knitter's just right, and some knitters use yarn to insulate their houses, so really, it's about finding what works for you. I have a few guidelines for determining your personal value of too much yarn:

Will you die before it all gets knit? Do you like your knitting friends well enough to leave them your stash in this event? If you think you are not enough enamored of your friends to leave your treasure behind, consider either making better friends, lowering your standards, being buried with the stash, or destashing. Your non-knitting friends and relatives will not understand what to do with your laceweight.
Does your stash present a hazard or discomfort to those you live with? Will passing children get tangled and strangle in the stash? Do you often lose pets in the stash? Do your housemates have enough room for their own possessions? If you answer yes, there are some subjective factors to consider: do you really like children all that much? Were those pets just troublemakers? And as to the housemates, when did they get so materialistic that they need all that stuff taking up your potential stash storage space? Of course, we must always consider the spatial needs of others when we co-exist in the same quarters, but perhaps they are not really considering your needs. One only realizes an other's selfishness when being selfish themselves. If this all makes you a bit uncomfortable, it may be time to destash.
Do you continue to purchase stash-enhancing items even though you have been living on ketchup-covered saltines and coffee with sugar stolen from the gas station? If your stash is taking up more of your money than is wise and frugal for your needs, then you must consider some of these factors: How much am I saving on heating the house by letting the yarn insulate it? Wasn't it time I dropped ten pounds anyway? By letting the car get repossessed, aren't I helping the environment by not emitting dangerous greenhouse gases? Who needs to buy insurance when you know you prefer to live on the edge? Can't you sell some blood or something? If you haven't got enough money to support the growing stash, you may consider destashing.
Do you look at the stash with despair when you realize your tastes in yarn have changed since you bought 700 miles of synthetic suede? Did you buy a holy-cow large amount of novelty yarn when you were a new knitter and now realize that if it ain't simple wool, it ain't you? If your stash no longer suits your needs and personal style, ponder these things: Can you trade some of that hideous fun fur to a new knitter for a simple ball of Aurora 8 and a lesson (trying not to utter the word "sucker" much over your breath)? Should you donate the offending yarn to a local preschool in hopes that karma will bring you a windfall of soft organic cotton? If you aren't willing to chance bargaining with the universe, it may be time to destash.
Have you considered that the problem is not that you have too much yarn, but not enough needles? Perhaps not enough patterns?

In thinking all this through carefully, and closely examining the stash to realize that I have five women's sweaters, two men's sweaters, three baby sweaters, four pairs of socks, two shawls, two pairs of mitts or gloves, one scarf, five or six or nine hats, three bags, a bathrobe or blanket (haven't decided), and twice that much yarn in "stuff with potential", I feel I have just enough stash. We should not, however, ask Yoshi his opinion on the subject.

2007-11-22T18:25:00.000-05:00

I hate holidays. The End.

Moving on. Reluctantly.

2007-11-15T19:01:00.000-05:00

Now that the boyfriend/girlfriend hats are out of my life, I find myself dawdling. I have so much stash... what's next? I finished the back of the Eyelet Cardigan, and am wondering if I want to cast on both fronts at the same time, or both sleeves. Then I think that it would take longer to make both at the same time and i waffle a bit. Then I think it will take just as long, if not shorter to knit both at the same time, because I tend to take a little break between bind-offs (you know, the back's done, so breathe for a day... the first front is done, so take a day off... you see where I'm going with this). Pros and cons make me indecisive, so I just think about other things to make...
Like an afghan for my Mom. But I am waffling on this, too, because I am not convinced she'll like the yarn (it's the Retro Throw from Knit Picks and I chose blue, azure and buttermilk) or the pattern or anything about it, really, because I recently found out she didn't like the Christmas present I gave her last year and she never said anything. I had to wait for my dad to make a rude comment to figure it out. Last month. So, confidence shaken, yes, and the plan right now is to take the yarn to her house on Thanksgiving and see if I can get a reaction out of her. So I don't want to waste my time knitting on it if I am just going to turn the yarn into a bathrobe for me.
So, I could work on those socks I have started... Yeah, right!
I could try stash re-organization as an attempt to get inspired, but that sounds like it involves cleaning parts of the house, and I am on strike until I get four more cents per DVD I dust.
I could get the backs started for those entrelac pillows... from September... but I never did settle on a method for them. Stripes? Solids? Some kind of bizarre brocade? Flat or circular?
What is a girl to do? I'm spinning my wheels. Suggestions, please. I'm trapped in bad attitude land and need help finding my way out.

Close enough to done

2007-11-11T00:05:00.000-05:00

I think that once a project is off the needles and I can easily hide any ends that may need weaving in, it is close enough to FO status for a photo. I don't really like work in progress photos, because what if I get distracted and don't touch it for over a year (there's a stripey tank top in this phase, all it really needs is straps, may my sweet kitty Eskimo {who is an incarnation of a lesser Yarn God} help us all) and you really liked that project and want to see more of it, what then? Well, I can't not listen to my knitting instincts that tell me don't bother with that boring ass project, and I can't bear the thought of disappointing anyone with the gumption to visit here more than once, so you get the Glory of the Finished Object in the most part. If it's really fascinating me to take a picture of a WIP, well, you'll know when that happens, won't you?

Anyhow, here's the project. It's Lindsay's Lucky Horseshoe Hat. Made specially to coordinate with the hat I knit her boyfriend, Stephen, which is just Headline News from SnBN (you'll recall my little blue hat he loved so much). Oh, modelled by me, btw. I don't have a really close friend who looks exactly like me, that would be creepy.

And a detail shot.

Ends need woven in, and the brim needs stitched on Stephen's hat, but I think I can call these babies done. If they were cookies, I'd be relying on carryover to finish them right now.

Some cool facts about Lindsay's Lucky Horseshoe:

I designed this myself. I just picked up sticks and went crazy, did whatever I felt like doing until it looked like a hat, and called it a day.

The horseshoe cable brim is worked horizontally with a slipped stitch edge, and I had to create a jig out of floral foam and straight pins to get the graft to be just perfect. It's no mean feat to kitchener in a knit/purl combination if you've no earthly clue where to even begin, and I'm pretty pleased with the outcome. The thing about it is this: in all the books that tell you how to properly graft knits and purls in the same row, the drawings of stitches are lying flat and off the needles. So, I figured, why not get those cumbersome needles out of the way? I pinned each stitch to floral foam and pretended I was duplicate stitching. So easy once I figured out what I was doing.

Those are tiny baby horseshoe cables going up the crown, in case the resolution ain't so great for you. Special thanks to Ariel Barton who wrote this great article and helped me figure out how to make these wicked cute. And yes, for those with a superstitious bone, all the horseshoes face up.
For those of you who simply must know, Blue Sky Alpacas Worsted Hand Dyes, US size 9 needles (straight and DPNs), whatever gauge came off the needles (I never did check).

These should be ready for mailing, say, Monday? Don't hold me to it, Linds. I do have a full time job.

Enjoy the photos and subsequent stalking of yours truly. I am adorable in hats, even when they're not mine.

Yay, October!

2007-11-03T17:17:00.000-04:00

I love October because of four great things. One, my birthday is on the twelfth. Two, fall really starts to kick in. Three, Rhinebeck. And four, Halloween. I love the creative opportunity Halloween presents. I am a bit disappointed that so many of my peers have turned it into International Dress Like a Whore Day, or Let's Get Wasted in a Costume Day, or I Just Want to Walk the Streets in my Bra and Panties Day (if you've ever been on Church Street in Orlando for Halloween, then you know...), but I hold on with all my creative mettle to be something that doesn't make me look like a common street-walking trollop.
A few years back, I lived in Gainesville (home of the most University of Florida girls ever) and for Halloween, all my friends were deciding what to do with themselves. I heard such things as I'm going to be a... slutty army girl! Slutty nurse! Slutty cop! Slutty devil! Slutty baby!
Yeah, that last one got me pretty bad, too.
It came around to me and I said I wanted to be Zorro. All my girlfriends looked confused... Someone said, hesitantly, "Slutty Zorro?" And I said no. Just Zorro.
So, I was a little disinclined to participate for a few years, until now.
I can't believe it, but I actually got Yoshi to go downtown and hang out in a bar, nay, several different bars for Halloween. He also dressed up. He got medieval.

And wonder of all wonders, he already had that outfit. It's a throwback from his Renaissance Fair days, and he looked smashing.
I toyed with the idea of being Lil Pimpin'...

Which, oddly enough, is also a costume Yoshi had tucked away in his closet. He claimed to me once that he won it on an online contest (his exact words were "You didn't think I bought that, did you?") and I thought it was hilarious on my petite frame (5 feet tall, weighing in at a buck fifteen). It is actually sized for him (6-foot-something, around 230-240), and I was really intrigued by being the Littlest Pimp. Until my girly side caught up with me and I just wanted to be pretty.

So, I was Holly Golightly.

Well, as best I could with what was in my closet. It was great fun to be recognized as Audrey Hepburn by some people and hear their friends say "Who?" and then watch the incredulity of the cinematically cultured vs the folly of those who haven't seen a movie older than Ghostbusters. I have the same reaction when people not that much younger than me say they have never seen Star Wars.

And in knitting news, I finally got around to getting myself a birthday present.

Nice, huh? I got myself the kit, US size 4 to 11 (yes, my needles go to eleven!). I just wish they made short cables so I could convert them all to 16" for hats. Fortunately, a charming woman promised me some sometime within the next year, so I am not sweating it at all. I got time.
I also managed to make the entire hat for Steven, and most of the brim for Lindsay's hat (designing that one myself, so it's taking a little longer). And I cast on for this little cardigan, for which I had purchased a kit from kpixie.com. So, we are knitting and knitting and quite happy with the knitting. With the exception of this...
I made a horrible mistake. I bought an entire small sweater's worth of yarn (Bengali from the Queensland Collection, color six on the card if you're interested) and I hate it. I unfortunately bought it on sale, so it's mine forever. Unless, of course, you want it. I've got ten unmolested balls (880 yds! Four stitches to the inch on size 9s!) that I will be happy to send to you, whoever and wherever you may be, for, hmm, whatever stuff you may want to offer, but shipping at the bare minimum (I paid about $7/ball, if you want to know). I wouldn't expect anyone to accept the ball I swatched with, because I have thrown it across the room a few times in despair and hatred and it is not pristine any longer. I should have known better than to buy so much of something I was completely unfamiliar with, but the colors are what hooked me in, and it is really soft, and it was on sale. I just don't care to work with it any longer. So, if you like pale plum, gold and green in a wrapped novelty yarn, let me know what you want to swap and I'll send it along.

On hold.

2007-10-27T00:24:00.000-04:00

The trouble with going on a vacation when you work in my restaurant is that firstly, I have to get all my shifts covered by my teammates (incurring favors owed), then I have to work as much as possible after I get back to make up for all the time I took off and money I spent, plus pay back the favors done for me. All this must be done without going into overtime, so there will be much clocking out early before doing my nightly sidework. So, my work schedule is going to be crazed for the next few weeks. I hope this doesn't trigger any one's abandonment issues; I may be gone a while.

BTW, what's nightly sidework, you ask? Well, someone has to clean up the mess after you eat, and it's usually your server. We do this for what amounts to half the minimum wage an hour, because if we don't have a table to wait on, we aren't earning any money. And if you sit there for two hours after you have paid your bill and chat with your pals, you are literally taking away my ability to earn money. It's not that I don't want you to have a good time,it's actually in my best interest that I show you a good time and I am happy to do this, it's that I am at work and I need to be working to make any money. Servers aren't servers for their health; it's a legitimate profession in which I earn my rent and food and yarn money. So, please, people, recognize that the person who brings you your lunch and dinner is a person with feelings and financial needs and respect the profession. I don't come to your job and waste your time (time really is money in this industry) and I am always happy to see you at my job, provided we conduct ourselves with a sense of mutual respect.

Can anyone tell I've had a rotten night at the table waiting?

Gotta go catch up on some knitting while I have a free minute. There was a nice haul from Rhinebeck which has totally destroyed any efforts I made to bust down the stash, and I need to make about three full sized sweaters, two hats, possibly some kind of hand warming device, and a sweater vest for my charming nephew, Emerson.

BTW, does anyone remember where I can donate yarn? I posted about it once, but I can't find the post.

How did this happen?

2007-10-22T21:33:00.000-04:00

I swear to you, I went to Rhinebeck. I swear it on my stash. And somehow, I find I did not take even one single picture. The irony of this is that Swan and I set up a photo scavenger hunt for ourselves and completely disregarded the game once we were there. Seriously. What happened? I'll tell you, it was the wool fumes.

The scavenger hunt was like so: I came up with a list of 25 things to photograph for the blogs we both maintain. We were not to tell our menfolk about it, since we were sort of plotting against them to get them to do things they wouldn't necessarily normally do. It was a secret between us, and such fun to plan. The list:

1. Either of the gents trying out a drop spindle, weaving loom, wheel, or other fiber art application not knitting. Poking himself on a drum carder counts.
2. Emerson in a basket of yarn.
3. The hottest guy in a flannel.
4. The line at the Fold.
5. At least two people we met last year (celebrities count, even Kinneared celebrities).
6. All the packages we procure lying in a giant pile.
7. Two or more men knitting together.
8. Three hand knit shawls being worn together.
9. All three of our men smiling at once.
10. Either significant other kissing a fiber bearing animal (she or I in a sweater does not count, nor does Em).
11. Any reference to knitted graffiti.
12. Me in hats (because I look so good in hats).
13. Her whole family, Yoshi and I together, and the five of us. Yep, that's a three-parter.
14. Adults baby talking to bunnies.
15. Her son in his hand knits. Hopefully a multiple-parter, as well.
16. Both men looking completely fed up at the same time. Actually, anyone's nervous breakdown will do, I think. This will probably happen when it's time to find the car.
17. Alpaca tongue.
18. Those deep-fried artichoke things from last year.
19. Dog yarn.
20. Anyone eating lamb or mutton with a live lamb or sheep in the shot.
21. Weirdest hand knitted item worn by a human (funny hats are not acceptable, but fanny packs will do).
22. She and I looking swell. I have no pictures of just us together looking really swell. Or knitting together.
23. Someone doing something to an animal that looks perverse.
24. Woodchucks. Psyche!
25. Either one of showing restraint. This one's a challenge.

Seriously, doesn't it sound fun? How did we totally disregard it? Some of the things are references to last year's trip, so if you don't get the funny, it's because you are not me or her, not because of anything you are lacking personally.

I brought Yoshi with me, and he did his best to be a good sport. Mostly, he was smart enough to carry a paperback in his pocket and to let me walk away from him without any guilty feelings. I don't expect him to get excited about this sort of thing, but he was nicely supportive and I hope he enjoyed what he could.

Swan also did something that disturbed me a little. She went onto Bloglines and showed me who subscribes to my blog. I was convinced it was just her, but apparently there are FIVE PEOPLE out there who are notified by email whenever I post, two of whom prefer to remain private. I had no idea my fan club totalled out at more than one, but I guess someone out there likes me enough to want that sort of thing. This only bothers me because I am really quite well-adjusted to being the anti-social and mostly-avoided one. So, yeah... You people are weird. I'm really an acquired taste and can be rather nasty. But hey, more power and all that, and give us a shout out in the comments (stop leaving Dee all alone in there). Hey, get really crazy and mess with my head by commenting anonymously. It's fun.

overexcited

2007-10-19T08:51:00.000-04:00

IntwentyminutesIamleavingthehousetogetonaplanetogoseeSwanandgotoRhinebeck. IhavehadahalfpotofcoffeetomyselfandIamnotdonedrinkingityet; Iamalittleoverexcitedtosaytheleast.

And breathe.

So, that happened...

2007-10-15T01:06:00.000-04:00

Had a birthday on the twelfth. Whoopee!

I am now 31. Oh, joy. It seems a bit insignificant. Thirty seemed like kind of a big deal, but also a bit too rounded. It was somehow weird to tell someone "I'm thirty". They'd be all no way and I'd be all yes way and it seemed almost surreal. Kind of like underage kids who don't think to tell someone they are a slightly more obscure age than 21. Now, I am slightly more obscure. Squee!

I ran out of yarn for Yoshi's sweater, and man alive, am I pissed. I had bought extra to begin with, and it looks like if I had followed the pattern properly, I'd need at least two more skeins. However,since I converted into the round (no yarn needed for seaming) and was going to try contrasting colored cuffs and neckline, I conserved in many places. And still, I need two more freaking skeins. Oh, well. At least Lamb's Pride is relatively cheap. Just have to worry about the dye lot. I only need to finish about a third of the second sleeve's intarsia, and then do about eight inches on each sleeve. In my next life, I will be in love with a much smaller man, I demand it. Giant feet, over six feet of height, big round heads and barrel chests are not attributes a knitter should look for in a man. Nor men who are naturally warm all the time, but that is not really Yoshi, so I don't care.

Rhinebeck in less than a week!

Now this is freakin' CUTE!

2007-10-06T15:42:00.000-04:00

No, this is not the super secret project, but it's pretty cute anyhow.

Yup. That's a baby sweater. Why, yes, that is a skull and crossbones on the baby sweater, thanks for noticing! Oh, the buttons? Here's a close-up:

Okay, it's a blurry close-up, but still... a close-up. Not long ago, Yoshi sort of volunteered me to make a gift for a friend of his at work, who is expecting his first son. Knowing Yoshi, if he likes someone enough to offer baby gifts (I know, baby plus gift plus Yoshi in the same sentence, i never thought I'd see that, either), they are probably pretty punk rock and very cool people (please realize that the term "punk rock" is one of the highest compliments I can give). Kid is due on Halloween, so really, he needs a skull and crossbones sweater to welcome him to the world, and remind everyone who sees him that he is a butt-kicking punk rock baby. I think Sid and Nancy would've been proud.

In other knitting, I have picked up Yoshi's gigantic sweater again in hopes of having time to finish it before we go to Rhinebeck. After two days, I am halfway down the first sleeve and feel pretty confident. He will be warm, dammit. I insist. Of course, the crazy thing weighs about ten or fifteen pounds, so he will probably lose some weight wearing it, but at least he'll be warm. Really, really warm.

Aaaargh! Secrets!

2007-10-05T14:29:00.000-04:00

I knitted the cutest thing I ever knit ever the other day. No, you can't see it. It's a secret. Why is it a secret? That's a secret, too. But I had to tell someone that it's the absolute cutest thing ever, and that I am frustrated that I can't blog it or show it or take pictures of it or any such thing. It's a secret. I can only give it to its intended recipient and keep quiet until the reason it is a secret reaches critical mass (quite possibly next year, ack!). Then, it's pictures all around. Aaaaaarrghhhh! I can hardly stands it!

Oh, baby, is Rhinebeck 2008 ever booked. I bought the plane tickets on Tuesday. This year, Yoshi is going with me to meet up with CygKnit (who is actually supposed to be my co-blogger, but you can't really tell...) and her whole family, so we can spend two days in the wilds of upstate New York looking at yarn. She is bringing her new son and husband, so it's a big gangling trip of craziness. For one, Yoshi is not really particularly interested in yarn or fiber in any real way. He knows that yarn keeps me happy and fiber keeps him regular and has no desire to know more. I am going to try to get him to use a drop spindle, among other things. For another, I don't think the five month old infant is much of a knitter or spinner yet. Also, Yoshi does not own a jacket and refuses to get one. I see him shiver in the fifty degree Florida winters in a damn t-shirt every year, and it pains me, but he rejects all attempts to warm him outright. I don't think he knows what he's in for. However, I am really looking forward to telling people I am from Florida and that I flew up for Rhinebeck. Along with the weird "There are knitters in Florida?" look, I also got a look that said "I respect your deep commitment to fiber arts." Which I thoroughly enjoyed. I don't get a lot of props in my day-to-day life for being a committed knitter. I am also looking forward to seeing the way bunnies inspire every single person who approaches them into baby talk. Last year, this was the rule without exception. It was hilarious. And at 11:30 on Sunday morning, there is something called a Leaping Lama contest. What the hell is that?

Yarn diet? What yarn diet?

2007-09-21T20:25:00.000-04:00

So, I broke the yarn diet today, but it was for the best reason ever.

Yoshi and I went to see my good friend Linds and her charming live-in boyfriend Steven this week. I wore the little blue hat for all of three minutes, and we realized it would look perfect on Steven. Two seconds into trying on the hat, Steven offered to buy it off me. Hmmm...

Now, technically, since I have worn that hat to many places and things, it is a used item. And there is no way I will make a friend pay me for a used article of my own clothing, particularly one I have never even washed. So, I said I'd make him one. And then upon arriving home I got my first credit card since the bankruptcy in the mail, the one I intend to use to repair my credit and shop online (really uncomfortable using my bank card online, I don't know why), and next thing you know...

I was very restrained. I only bought what I really, really needed to make Steven's hat. And something for Linds to say thank you for having us. And a tiny kit that was on sale. Less than $100, I swear, and that includes shipping. Also, I do have the cash in the bank account to cover it, and since I have no interest on purchases until October of next year, it seemed only intelligent to order yarn today and start the journey to better financial health. See? Best reason ever. I am showing gratitude and doing something good for my future.

And by the way, Steven has an etsy shop. How cool is he?

And then there is news on the entrelac front:

This is going to be the front of the first of two pillows for the living room. I am planning a set of coasters to match, maybe felted maybe not. Maybe just a bunch of different swatches or maybe I will try some slipped-stitch plaid, or maybe I will stop having more ideas than I have spare time.

Learning makes me tired.

2007-09-16T00:06:00.000-04:00

A first for today: I took a class.

I know, those of you who know me will say "She finally got herself some class? It's about time!" But no, I took a class on entrelac, and I tell ya, friends and neighbors, learning wears me out. Almost everything I know about knitting (and if I may be so bold, I do know quite a bit) I have taught myself out of books, from the Internet, or pure trial and error. Even the asking of advice on the online forums (like Knitty Coffeeshop) has been mostly to confirm what I already knew to be true, but just wanted a bit of encouragement. So, learning from others is a bit alien to me, and I thought I'd better give it a whirl.

I got myself down to the Sip and Knit and spent several hours with some entrelac knitting lessons. Got home and promptly fell asleep for three hours. But, look how pretty happy shiny!

Yeah, not the best picture to show off the actual knitting, but do take a moment and notice how perfectly the colors I chose go with my favorite lamp, as well as Mom's antique amber glass ashtray. If you look closely, you can see I started with cream, then gold, then ruby red. I am moving on to the black, then the rust and will measure at that point to see if I have anything resembling a square for a pillow or two. I've got a little homework to do, as one cannot even think of finishing until there is at least one more set of rectangles (a knit-side set of rectangles, for those in the know), and we agreed to meet up on Thursday night to learn the finishing triangles.

As a technique, it works up pretty freakin' cool. As a look, the directionality is very appealing, and I think I would want to spice it up a bit with some cables or simple lace in the middle of the plain stockinette rectangles. I think I need to practice my backwards knitting a bit more (I've been trying with some plain stockinette pieces in preparation for the class, but slow going) because the flipping is a bit tedious, but I don't think that's anything I couldn't tackle on my own. All in all, a pretty decent experience. I did hear one of my classmates going on about Ravelry for a bit, and I have some thoughts on that... (Kind of a rough segue, I know.)

I refuse to go on Ravelry. Simply refuse to even browse it until it goes 100% public and I can just use it to see what others are doing with their stash that I may not have thought of. I don't need my computer finding yet another way to suck up the valuable hours of my life. It's hard enough what with the minimal amount of blogs I read, as well as constant virtual window shopping in the yarn shops and the mags like Knitty and The AntiCraft. Call me antisocial, call me overly solitary, whatever, I prefer to do these things on my own, learn at my own pace, and never, ever see in writing what I have in the stash (I think I would cry in despair and shame at my wastefulness, as there is no way in hell I will find the time to knit it all, what with needing to buy more every chance I get).

Who wants to see the Fortune Cookie bag?

This is the bag, pre-felting. It has since been felted, and I have decided that I absolutely hate the handles. I should have known; if you don't like something pre-felting, you probably aren't going to like it post-felting (unless it's a fedora you need to shrink, but I digress...) and I really didn't like them at all, ever. My plan was for a wide, flat base that tapered up into an even strap, but like a fool I used stockinette as a center panel in the wider area. I should have gone garter all the way, but I felt the colors weren't showing themselves off to the best of their ability in bumpy garter, and then (oh, surprise!) the stockinette had the nerve to curl inward on me. So, I plan to lose the existing handles, send it through the washer to close up the area where the handles were, and attach some leather and hardware. I'm thinking something black and distressed, to keep up the hobo-look of the bag. I plan to comb a few thrift shops for belts or purses I might cut up, and as a last resort the nice yarnshop lady gave me the business card of a local leather worker to make something custom (Thanks, Doni!).

But, aside from the handles, I love this little bag. Such an easy pattern to devise (modified mitering), such wonderful colors (the other side has a blue bit that entertains me to no end), and soft as a baby's butt, if that baby were made out of mohair, wool and silk. Plus, I managed to felt up Noro Silk Garden, which many thought could not be done due to the high silk content. Haha, in your face, Silk Garden! I will felt you at my own will!

Apparently it's late and I am tired; I am gloating at the yarn.

All I ever wanted and just in time for my birthday

2007-09-08T12:34:00.000-04:00

I've been lusting after a KnitPicks Options set of needles for quite some time now. However, I am not a big fan of metal needles (too heavy, too much likeness to instruments of pointy destruction, and I love the colors wood or bamboo carries in its depths) so I have held back on getting myself a set. Then, this morning, a mere five weeks before my birthday, I get an email from KnitPicks with a link to these. Oh, don't worry. Yoshi already knows.

There have been worse rashes in the world

2007-08-28T15:04:00.000-04:00

A rash of startitis has overtaken me. I am about to go off into the deep end.

Still haven't gotten around to mailing off my nephew's cardigan, but my excuse is that I have so much other knitting on my plate, as well as, for some unknown reason, a small bit of clothing repair I have graciously taken in for some of the girls I work with. Seems I have become the restaurant mommy, and whenever someone loses a button or walks the hem out of the bottom of their pants, it's Lisa to the rescue. How did I become this person, to whom college girls beg a quick sewing fix? I am a knitter, not a sewer, and to be honest, even thought I can sew a button back to a shirt fairly well, I simply do not understand how it transcended to one of the girls I work with asking me for advice about hand-tailoring her wedding dress. Yes, I said wedding dress. My sewing machine gathers dust, as it was originally purchased to make simple linings for knitted handbags and I have not actually knit a handbag in some time. In fact, the handbag I originally meant to line has as yet to be lined. Explain, please, how this assumption was reached. Anyhow...

I started a whole gigantic pile of knitting.

There was the "I must learn two-circular sock knitting" project, which is now in a state of having two toes of potential socks for Yoshi sitting idly on two circular needles. The going is slow, as I have not yet grabbed the knack. I think I may have figured out that life goes along quicker if one pushes both socks to the edge of the left hand needle at once, therefore eliminating the giant pain in the ass of untangling the circulars after every 36 stitches. Now I do it after every 72, then flip. There is hope for these socks, I have to say. They will both be done at the same time (no second sock syndrome!), and I am working from two ends of a ball of Austermann Step, which has aloe and jojoba built right in, so it feels really nice to work with. Yoshi likes that the self-striping will be reversed on either sock, so that's all well and good, and I came up with a little slip-stitch herringbone pattern to keep it interesting.

There is still Yoshi's sweater to contend with. I worked the neck according to pattern, with firm resolve that if it needed ripping, I would rip happily. But Yoshi tried it on, and it looks, well, pretty nice. The neck is just loose enough to be comfortable, and there are only sleeves to deal with now. Sleeves, I think, should go pretty fast, since there is a little intarsia to hold my attention, and they are just straight rectangles. I am a bit concerned at how the rectangular shaping is going to fit into the stair-step looking underarm, but I am also fearless after the success of that neckline. I may do both at once.

Then, there is the latest stash-dive. In my early stash-amassing career, I was foolish and bought a few balls of something pretty, not giving any consideration to yardage or having anything resembling a plan. So, there are five balls of Noro Silk Garden taking up space in the stash. Until now. I devised a handbag pattern that shows off the striping to best advantage (it does kind of a concentric circle thing using a graduated mitering technique) and I plan to felt it. Two balls down. The other three will probably be a pattern from Knitty I have my eye on. I will already have gauge form the handbag, so away we go. I have one side of the bag (it looks like a colorful fortune cookie) finished, awaiting the second side. Then I sew the two together, work the handles I am on the fence about (can't settle on a method, I-cord or wide and flat) and wash. I am going to attach a magnetic snap to keep it all secure, and there you have it, handbag a la Noro.

I have been giving quite a bit of thought to another bag I dreamed up some time ago, as well. It will incorporate some large-gauge Fair Isle, a few beads, and hopefully some kind of Asian-inspired motif. The inspiration comes from the beads, which are white and blue porcelain with cranes and flowers on them. I have the white yarn and two shades of blue, I just need to finish charting out the Fair Isle and get it knitted. Still contemplating Far Eastern repeats.

I keep seeing shawls all over the internet, as well. I have a good bit of laceweight that I think would be a lovely shawl, acquired at Rhinebeck last year, and I am thinking about trying my hand at lace design. Perhaps I am looking for an excuse to buy more books and an entire compliment of lace-blocking tools, but hey, man, I need those books. Not more yarn, just books to help me use the yarn I already have. Yeah. That's it. Books.

Deep end, here I come.

Sweater woes and how to mentally be okay with your own futility

2007-08-11T10:46:00.000-04:00

Dee asked where Yoshi will be wearing the sweater. Ha ha, funny story there.

I originally cast on the sweater in my early knitting days (about two and a half years ago), as a practice. I just wanted to make something bigger than a hat and more complicated than a baby blanket. Since Yoshi is the kindest and most patient person I know, he is a very good guinea pig for knits. However, he is not at all of the sweater wearing persuasion. So, Dee, the answer to your question is "never and nowhere".

I am okay with this. No, really, this thing will be tried on once, then worn once on the absolute coldest day of the year, then rejected outright due to its mammoth inability to be at all useful. It is way too hot for Florida (even in winter, when we may drop down to a solid 40 degrees Fahrenheit), it is bulky, it is going to be oddly shaped at the neckline unless I go do some ripping right now, and we never travel to colder climates together. And I am fine with it.

What I really wanted from the sweater was to challenge my ability to commit. Having realized that I don't like the way the pattern is written at all, as well as the uselessness of the sweater, I fear it may be going back to UFO status soon, thus proving that I can't stick with it, but for the right reasons. I mean, come on, when I read the pattern I thought "Oh, interesting, the back and front neckline will be shaped exactly the same. Wonder what that will look like?" Well, my friends, it looks like crap on a plate. Lesson learned. Also, using a bind off for a shaping method results in stair step-like shaping, especially at a bulky gauge, and it does not block out. In fact, it just gets worse when one tries to pick up the stitches (shaped like stairs) to work the knitted on neck border (as per pattern instructions) because there is so much bulk on the wrong side that the neck bumps up and looks really uncomfortable. Especially in the back, where no man should have a scooping neckline.

Why did I go ahead with knitting this sweater when we all know I probably realized these things while reading through the pattern for the first time? Because I like to knit, and knitting horrible mistakes is still knitting. It is just learning, as well.

The things I have learned about shaping methods and why not to use certain ones are numerous in this project. Also, I have learned that when the author's own blurb states that this is her first sweater and that she made it up as she went along should probably tell me something. Sure, I have made up a few sweaters as I went along, but I think I studies first, and quite a bit. My knitting library rivals that of the Barnes and Noble down the street, I frequently use the chat forums available online, and I reference many different experts before I go and knit and give an item to a person. I think this is just not a well-thought-out pattern with odd shaping, but the pictures I see of finished products look okay, so I will probably persevere.

Wow, having re-read this post, I am really on the fence about this sweater. I think I will stick with it. And I think I will not rip out the neckline. I checked out some pictures and did a little research between the first draft of this post (three hours ago) and the edit (now) and I think I will give the design the benefit of the doubt for now. But if I have to set it on fire, we all understand why, don't we?

My excuse for not cleaning out the stash

2007-08-09T23:41:00.000-04:00

I have as yet to start sorting the stash, let alone busting out the ball winder and some sticks and getting some of the stuff made into, well, stuff.

Why am I so far behind on this grandest of all grand projects?

Well, for one I have a full time job...

But really, I have been doing my damnedest to get the Giant Space Eater out of the living room drawer. You know, the one that is not technically for stash, but for UFOs. It seemed that if I wanted to bust the stash, I'd have to make room for some WIPs, and therefore, convert some UFOs into WIPs, so they may someday be FOs. (Sorry to anyone who doesn't knit if none of that made sense.) It is Yoshi's sweater. The thing is ginormous. It is a modified version of Skully from SnB, and man alive, it takes up so much space the thing is unreal. I think finishing that alone will create about nine cubic feet of space in the stash.

Okay, I am exaggerating that just a wee bit. However, it does seem like ever since I got it back out to work on (til death or destruction, apparently), I have lost nine cubic feet in my living room, as the sweater and my modifications do not succumb well to being put in and taken out of the drawer very often and it lives currently on the coffee table, couch, or both. See, I decided that it should be converted into the round (seemed so smart to start, but wait, there's more), and that went well. To guarantee that the armholes and necklines for front and back would be even and symmetrical (as the pattern calls for), I would work the fronts and backs of the shoulder shaping simultaneously. I am now working from four separate balls of Lamb's Pride Bulky. That means that at four ounces a skein, I started with a full pound of dangling working yarn attached to the shoulders, doing all sorts of wonderful things to the gauge and potential fit of the sweater. However, I refuse to give up and am making even more, if slightly more subtle, modifications to the original pattern, like recalculating the stitches for the sleeves and completely reshaping them. If you read that all carefully, you can actually pinpoint the moment of my greatest ineptitude and stupidity.

Did you guess it? Do you want me to tell you where I went horribly wrong and complicated what should have been a simple game plan? It was where I tried to apply logic, and then insisted upon more logic to fix the problems of the previous logic. I neglected to consider my own ability to be utterly daft.

Poor Yoshi has been in and out of the sweater more times than I can remember, for measuring and remeasuring. It's been over and over with the same questions, is this armhole too tight, is the neckline wonky, oh crap look how the back hem pulls up, wait, but if we pull it down the neck does that thing again, is this seam too bulky, should I just graft the shoulder, oh crap grafting won't work it's not going to be a solid enough seam you will just have to live with the freaking three needle bind off and for cripes sake don't stretch it out!!!!

I have no idea anymore how many skeins have gone into the sweater, so I can't very well estimate it's current weight, but a bulky wool-mohair blend muscle shirt in the middle of freaking August cannot be pleasant for him. He is such a good sport, and so patient. And I think he may really, really hate the sweater when it's finished.

The sacrifices we make for commitment

2007-08-04T13:33:00.001-04:00

I have decided to forgo the purchase of new yarn until the stash becomes a more manageable size. Sigh.

I want to bust my stash. I need to bust my stash. The stash currently lives in two very large drawers upstairs and most leftovers in a living room drawer (please don't look under my bed, I am in denial about that). Yoshi needs a drawer back, and I want to give it to him. So, the guidelines are as follows.

No new yarn purchases until the stash fits easily into one drawer. This means all yarn that is predestined for a project gets into queue and worked through. The leftovers have a separate destiny.
I will go through all leftover yarn and really give it some consideration. Could it be baby booties or a hat? Knit it. Am I sick of it and never want to see it again? Rewind it into something less unruly and donate it. Is it absolute crap that I purchased from a craft store that I can't even see putting in a donation bag? Trash it. Trade it to a knitting friend, or just give it away. In any case, get it out of my apartment in some way.
Are there projects on the needles that I don't intend to finish (like the purple lace scarf from a year and a half ago)? Frog. Rewind. Reconsider.
Is there yarn of decent quality that I don't necessarily care for (like some of my laceweight, or some of the sock yarn)? Figure out a trade, or learn to love it. (Hey, Dee, you want a little sock yarn for absolutely free?)

Yes, this is difficult. This is hard. I may need to start several pairs of socks at once, or a lace stole I will never have opportunity to wear. Maybe two sweaters simultaneously. that means stuff won't get done very quickly at all. This is also going to involve a lot of cleaning, something I really abhor. Re-organization is not pleasurable, especially when it means I have to get rid of yarn. I love yarn; yarn is my friend. But space is my friend, too. And I need it more than I do more yarn right now.

I am committing to this as best I can. I think this is going to be harder than I anticipate, since I do so love the finishing of a project and it seems there won't be so much of that in my immediate future. Maybe I should work through it monogamously, one project at a time? More FOs in my future? Maybe I need to rethink my battle plan.

But somehow, the stash is going to shrink. Hold me to it.

Gotta go sew buttons to the little cardigan now. Then it's off to work for me.

Little half-skeins and what to do with them

2007-08-03T11:43:00.000-04:00

I can't stand surprises, so here it is. The cardigan I worked up for Cygknit's new son, Emerson. See? Sporty and preppy.
No, it doesn't have buttons yet. I am going to get some simple plastic buttons to sew on, just to keep everything machine washable. It needs a little blocking, and some ends woven in, as you can see...

This was my first foray into intarsia. I have to admit, I prefer Fair Isle (more fun, more intricate) but I didn't want to drive the poor kid nuts with a pile of snowflakes just yet. It was also my first knitted-on button band. I did 1x1 ribbing, but I think next time I will just try garter.

Yoshi thinks it's cute, too. I may have to make one for him, but you know, a little bigger. There's a huge difference in his chest (46") and Emerson's (16"), so I will have to muster all my strength to deal with the miles and miles of plain, single-color stockinette, not to mention it seems to take at least twenty balls of anything to cover him. I'm so glad there are babies in my life to knit for, and that I can make the smallest size of anything for me. Saves me piles of cash, let me tell you.

Emerson's cardi was a stash dive. I had two balls of Sirdar Snuggly, bought in March when last Mrs. Cygknit had opportunity to grace me with her lovely presence, at about 6 months preggers with Em. I remember picking it up and thinking "that little boy will need something in yellow and navy... I wonder what it is". And then quickly concealing it from her inquisitive eyes. But, I never figured out what it wanted to be. A sudden yen towards making myself a top-down sweater led me to want to practice on something, someone, and how ideal that my little nephew is here now, just perfect for such experimentation.

Of course, I'll have to wing it on the bust darts...

Working from the stash has unexpectedly created a new stash: leftovers.

While this stash is not quite as bulky as its parent stash, it is a bit confounding, because the parent stash is full of hope and plans for the future, and this one is just an odd assortment of who-knows-what. My style dictates that I don't really make the same thing twice (at least not in a row), so I don't really have a great pile of all the same thing from which to create a colorific nightmare. It's a tiny ball of bulky weight, two colors of machine washable DK, some green thick-thin stuff, etc. You get the idea.

If I had a yardage meter, I could at least catalog some of it and turn it into something useful, or trade it on the Knittyboard, or check out my yardage guide and see what baby things I could make. But alas.

What to do with it all? Tiny change purses? That won't get boring after two (note sarcasm). And who needs seventy thousand change purses? I don't know or like enough people to call that a gift-giving opportunity. Besides, who needs a change purse that looks like my giant green sweater thing?

What do you do with all your leftovers?

Just when you thought your stash was about to be busted

2007-07-27T01:16:00.000-04:00

Interweave Knits sent me the preview of the fall issue. Sigh. I am just going to have to make this. I must have it. It is just what I would wear. Oh, dear, WEBS has a grab bag for the yarn (Tahki Bunny). 10 skeins to make my size, and what do you know? There is a 10 skein grab bag for about half the price it would be normally. I just have to call tomorrow and make sure I can get 10 of a single color, make sure the color is one I'd want to wear, and away we go. I have been thinking about this for all of fifteen minutes, and I already have this planned. I'm going to have to shop around the WEBS site for a bit and write up a larger order. Am I crazy, or does it seem like a lot to ask for them to give me a completely matched "grab bag" of a color I selected? Doesn't that technically defy the definition of "grab bag"? So, I think that if I have a pile of other stuff to order, it might sweeten the deal a bit, or at least make it seem like I am not a completely selfish woman who expects the world to bend over backwards for her, what with dismissing the idea of a grab bag and all. Maybe I am too neurotic for this sort of thing.

The cardigan for my nephew is trucking along nicely, now that I finished the Harry Potter. The second sleeve is about halfway done on the double points, just need to transfer the body back to the needles, work it down, and do a button band after that. And voila! A well-dressed nephew. No pics, because I hate the way anything looks with DPNs in it. It makes my charming nephew's little sleeve look like something out of the Blair Witch Project. Maybe this explains my distaste for knitting socks (and still, I keep buying sock yarn.), although...

I did just receive a giant shipment of books from Knit Picks, one of which is the Cat Bordhi two-circular sock book, so I will be practicing that sometime soon. If you haven't seen the sale, and I hope for you that it's still on, check it out. I got three EZ books (I had not yet had the pleasure), as well as a top-down sweater book I'm not overly fond of, and something called Selbuvotter, which is really interesting, all about the two-color mittens including some history, as well as patterns for making them your very own. Not much use in Florida, but you never know who will need mittens, or where or when you may travel. Lovely. I am such a book ho. But the sale is something like 40% off, so it's really just intelligent shopping, right?

I need to go work out some more stash and make room for the Tahki Bunny now. I was being so good about working from the stash. Don't judge me. I really do need to have that sweater. It's the first time I have fallen for a pattern because I wanted to wear it, not because I wanted to knit it. So, really, this is a growing experience, right? Product versus process knitting for a change? How can anyone expect me to develop more fully as a human being without that sweater?

Right.

Gone out! Back at Page 759.

2007-07-22T00:54:00.000-04:00

This blog is to be temporarily suspended due to release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows. All knitting, housework, blogging and laundry to be resumed after full absorption of 759 pages of wizarding adventures. Eating to be permitted at regular intervals, as well as the production of more coffee. All other activities suspended.

The Midnight Magic party at the local Barnes and Noble:

The slightly harried girl at the cash wrap gives me my precious:

And then you wait for me to come back. I promise, no spoilers.

FO, FO, FO!

2007-07-20T12:27:00.001-04:00

Headline News is done.
And here's a shot of the cabling.

What a fun and quick project. And the Blue Sky Alpacas is some great stuff. If only it weren't July in Florida... I could actually wear it out.

Anyone remember me talking about the Big Green Sweater Shrug Monster Thing? Here it is.

That odd looking bulge on the front there is my other arm, crossed over the front of my body. This thing is for private use only, when the air conditioning is too much for my shoulders. Just what I wanted and needed. And yes, I know it's funny looking.

Oh, and then there are these coasters out of One Skein Wonders. I wired the beaded charms myself, using about half the suggested amount of charms, and converted the knitting to stockinette. Garter just wasn't what I wanted. They go great with my new bedroom furniture.

What else? I am designing a raglan cardigan for my new nephew; I'll post pictures when there's something to see. But it looks like it will be so preppy and super cute. Gotta find some decent buttons for the sucker, though.

Going to the Midnight Magic party at the Barnes and Noble tonight, for the release of the last Harry Potter book. Yoshi's really looking forward to it (sarcasm noted, anyone?). Should be a great photo op if nothing else. Oh, yeah, and I'll get that new book...

Blue Skies and Lotus Blossoms

2007-07-08T21:14:00.001-04:00

So, I finished the Lotus Blossom Tank.

Please pardon the bathroom photo shoot; I am sure the IK model never has to deal with this sort of thing.

Yes, it fits. I was a bit worried about the stockinette curl, especially along the square neckline (which really wanted to reveal more than I was willing for a moment there), but after two rounds of blocking, a bit of steam iron, and just a touch of starch, I am proud to say that this top lasted through a dinner out with an old friend, and is continuing to do so as I write this, with no signs of sag in my bustial area. Of course, I am wearing the most padded bra in existence, but I would have done that anyway.

Totally unlike me, I followed the pattern to the letter. Used the suggested yarn (SWTC Bamboo, Tequila colorway), no added decreases or any such tweaking. Used the suggested needles, worked on it nearly monogamously for almost two months (I had very limited knitting time, I'm not really that slow). It was kind of an experiment in surrendering my will to see if I got the desired result, and I must admit, I love this top. I had a few reservations during the incredibly long blocking process (okay, that's where I felt the need to stray...) because the neckline refused to stop it's vicious curling habit, but I have coaxed it into submission, and I think this may be one of my favorite tops now. I got a very nice compliment from my charming dinner companion about it, and I hope to teach her to knit soon. That's how we get 'em.

Then, there's this.

Alpaca merino blend from Blue Sky Alpacas. Yummmmm. I know they look like a solid blue to you, but I have knit this up into the Headline News hat out of SnBN (nearly done, just the brim to go), and the subtle variations in color have me absolutely enchanted. And soft! It feels so good it ought to be illegal. Many plies have given a defined yet plush stitch definition, and when I tried the hat sans brim on last night, it was so cute, I almost slept in it. I felt I looked like one of the Super Mario Brothers One-Up Mushrooms, as all my hair was tucked up inside it.

Kinda like this, but blue and cabled. And that's a good thing, somehow.

In which I photographically update you on the last several months and prove how Supremely Dorky I truly am

2007-07-06T17:32:00.000-04:00

For those of you who wanted to see my engagement ring:

Ain't that purty (ignoring my awful cuticles)? It's about a half carat, emerald cut, near colorless, nicest representation of a compliment anyone has ever given me. And fyi, we are not setting a date, so don't worry yourselves. We have decided we are not engaged to be married, but engaged to be engaged. For a really long time. Possibly forever. We'll let you know. Don't call us, we'll call you. Can you tell I am asked this question quite a bit?

Who wants to see the move?

Washers and dryers must go up, and the apartment people have a nifty contraption for getting them into our loft, see?

It cranks your heavy stuff up to the loft, so you don't completely destroy the inside stairwells trying to move your mega appliances. Nice, eh?

There is a great little lake in the middle of the apartment complex (odd term, "apartment complex", don't you think?) and it is inhabitted by many ducks and turtles. Apparently, the ducks were hungry.

And Mom got tired. We couldn't put the patio furniture out until everything was indoors, so it stayed in the grass for most of the day.
We are loving the apartment. There is so much quiet and solitude, which is such a nice break from the giant crazy house full of crazy people. Things got a little tense at the end, there. It's good to be on our own.

In more recent events, this year marks the 30th anniversary of the original Star Wars films, and Yoshi and I, being Supreme Dorks of the Highest Order, took ourselves to Star Wars Weekends at Disney MGM. Don't we look excited? And can you tell I've got Princess Leia hair?

Well, I do.

Who doesn't love Boba Fett?Here is Yoshi preparing for Jedi training, or modelling a backpack done up to look like Yoda, you decide. I almost bought a Yoda backpack, then relaized I could never fit a sweater project into it. Socks, maybe, but never sweaters. Yoda is not a particulary roomy Jedi.

This was freaking adorable. They taught little kids a few light saber moves, then pitted them against the Dark Lord of the Sith. One kid just started whacking the poor guy, totally ignoring the choreography he had just been taught. Six year old amateurs. Got me sympathizing with the actor in the Vader costume quite a bit, because really, how many kids have maybe done this to him all day? I guess that's what he gets for turning to the Dark Side.

And then there was the dance contest. Believe your eyes, friends, these are Star Wars characters dressed up as the Village People, and they did the YMCA. But it was the Y-O-D-A. No shit. We couldn't fit him in the shot, but Greedo was the Native American Village Person. More on Greedo in a minute.

First, there is Chewbacca doing the John Travolta. I'm sorry I can't figure out how to turn him, but for crying out loud, people, I play with string for several hours a day. Haven't you figured out I am not that bright yet?

Chewy was a hell of a dancer, even for a Wookiee. We were really impressed; Yoshi actually took about fifteen pictures of this, but I don't want to use up all my blog space on it. If you really want to see, email me. Or, just imagine him doing that arm-snake thing from Saturday Night Fever. It was just like that.

I saw a Sandman give Greedo a Wet Willie, and realized I didn't know I'd ever see such a thing in my life.

There were Jawas signing autographs and inducing mayhem.

As well as Warwick Davis (Wicket W. Warwick in Return of the Jedi, in case anyone was born under a rock) and Anthony Daniels (C3-PO, you rock-dwellers).

Not as much mayhem from them, they were very nice and well-behaved.

There was this guy, who for no good reason seemed quite taken with me.

And at the end of it all, I took a moment to remember my first love.

Oh, Han, what happened to us?

Later, knitting content. Because there's progress. Hope you enjoyed all the pictures.

Some Things with Which I Must Come to Terms

2007-05-07T14:07:00.000-04:00

Unblocked lace looks like crap, no matter what stage of knitting you are in. Even if it is just the first pattern repeat. Even if you stretch really, really hard. Even if you wish with all your might.
There are some twenty-something young men (and some in their early thirties) who will simply never learn to pull their pants up. They will also never learn that a belt is not for holding said pants just below the curve of their ass. And there is no stopping them from walking by my apartment.
I cannot make time stand still. No matter how short the rest of the row or round I am working on, when it's time to get ready for work, I must get up and do it (more like I should have done it ten minutes ago).
The cat wants to escape. It is my sworn duty to prevent this and thwart his efforts at every turn and all costs, excepting of course the cost of the cat himself. I must accept that this is a never-ending battle with the cat, and he will never admit defeat or "just learn, already!"
Laundry never ends, unless you do it naked and stay that way for the rest of your natural existence.
I cannot make Yoshi do all the chores I set out for him in one day, even if it is only two small tasks. I love Yoshi because he does not blindly submit to my authority and I must make every effort to remember this when he tells me he was "planning on doing that tomorrow."
UPS does not respond to telepathic messages to hurry up and deliver my yarn and books. Actually, they don't necessarily have to respond favorably even if I use more conventional methods of communication (like the phone or email) because I only paid for ground shipping.
My desire for Yoshi to be awake and fun does not supercede his need for a decent night's sleep.
Despite the rumors, stash does not breed on its own. You have to spend actual money on it. And sometimes food and shower soap are more important, depending on how many days you can go without public contact, fed on a Ramen noodle diet.
Grammar and spelling skills did not necessarily sink in to the rest of the world in the same way it did me. Sometimes, one of us is wrong, and I must be willing to accept that it could be me before making calls to advertising agencies.

And breathe, and relaaaax.

Seriously. Knititng content.

2007-05-05T22:11:00.000-04:00

But due to an extreme household-wide AA-battery shortage, no pictures. The camera had to take the sacrifice in the interest of lighting up my weakly lit but lovely all the same new apartment.

Big green sweater-type thing needs about three inches of sleeve, bind off, and weave something like three ends in to be finished. I have been knitting my tails in by double-stranding (the yarn is sort of thick-thin anyway, so it doesn't even show) and the finishing on this thing is going to be so minimal I can't even believe it. It is warm, chunky, and just what I needed, and an hour from being done.

Several months ago, I started a red cotton dishcloth and then relegated it to the WIP pile due to boredom. A severe case of finish-it-up-itis led me to really, really want my #8s back, and since the silly thing needed literally ten more rows, I finished it up. It needs a button, but the sucker's done. It's even cute. I am going to try to whip out two matching scrubbies or warshrags ala Mason Dixon to complete the set for my future mother in law. I've got plenty of white cotton to compliment the red, and I get such a Jack-and-Meg-White-feeling from the peppermint combination. Definitely should bust out some recommended listening while working on those; I think I could knit like lightning if Hotel Yorba were playing in the background.

I cast on a Lotus Blossom tank out of a stash dive. I am on row 7 (OMG!) and I am loving it. I did not join the KAL , seems I am a little late to all those parties. I am using SWTC Bamboo in Tequila. I noticed that there is a girl named Lisa also knitting the LBT in the same colorway on the KAL, but I assure you, she is not me. I am pretty sure I must be shorter.

I keep buying yarn. It's an addiction. I can't imagine ever knitting all the yarn I already have, but I must have more. I'm like a fiber zombie; rather than walking around moaning "braaaaiiins....," I say "yaaaarrrrnn..." I do realize this is very common, but seriously. This is just getting wasteful. There's a pile of angora blend on it's way to me right now, as well as some Malabrigo, so I went out and bought some sock yarn and, of all things, some Daria Multi. What the heck am I going to do with that? I think it's coasters for the bedroom.

Speaking of which, we also bought new bedroom furniture, as some of the old stuff succumbed to gravity and lost it's finish during the move. It will be here in June, squee!

'Kay, bye.

Where the heck am I living?

2007-04-29T01:38:00.000-04:00

It has occurred to me on several occasions over the past few years that I do not want to die in Florida. I just don't want to live here forever, and my reasonings are varied and sundry.

Once, I went to San Francisco to visit a dear friend I am sad to say I am no longer in contact with. He had moved from San Francisco to Orlando and then back again. Two things memorable about that trip: firstly, he seemed so happy. Read: so much happier than when he lived in Florida. I inquired as to the why, and he said "Because Orlando has no soul... and it wanted mine." Hmm. Second, he took me to a party and introduced me to several Bay Area folk as his friend from Orlando. Every single one of them asked if I was planning to move out to the west coast, and when I said no, they looked at me as if to say "Awwwww. Poor little girl with no soul. Someday, if she wishes really, really hard, she may become real like the Velveteen Rabbit."
I went to Rhinebeck. I told every knitter, spinner, sheep herder, vendor, dyer, and blogger that I was from Florida. I was met 4 times out of 5 (and no, I did not only meet 5 people, it's a ratio) with a response that sounded a lot like "They have knitters in Florida?"
Nothing cool ever happens here. Yarn Harlot isn't planning to come even as far south as Atlanta, and man, that's a long drive in itself. And that crazy girl is going to freaking ALASKA! There are no fiber festivals, there are only two (two!) yarn shops in this whole city, no knit-ins, and I am only detailing what I can't get here as a knitter. My cable sucks (there is good cable in Orlando, I just don't have it), the downtown scene kinda blows (you always have a good time, but you always have the same good time ), local music is pretty decent but the really good touring shows usually seem to end up in Tampa. Restaurants are mostly corporate chains with a nice handful of diamonds in the rough. The art scene leaves something to be desired. We do have the MegaCon and the Enzian, though. Can't touch that.
Bugs and lizards. Yuck and OMG-double-yuck. I have a weird, tiny little gross-out every time I see one of the tiny lizards that run all over the sidewalks, and there are bugs everyfreakingwhere here. Especially bugs that can give you brain swelling (encephalitis is carried by mosquitoes) and giant, poodle-eating lizards in most lakes. Don't get me started about frogs. Oh, how I am shuddering right now, just thinking about the creepy little frogs.
It's holy-God hot here. I swear, even my corpse would sweat. Wool is just less than useful, and try talking your boyfriend into wanting a Fair Isle sweater in ninety degree heat.
Oh, yeah, hurricane season is on the way. Squee!

So, for crying out loud, people, send Florida some happy thoughts and some fiber-related items of interest, like a knitting book author or a sheep dog trial or something. Maybe I am just kicking myself for not going to Thursday night knitting for I can't remember how long anymore. Maybe it's time to consider packing up and getting a move on. Maybe I should quit my whining and go to bed.

Nighty-night.

2007-04-26T23:27:00.000-04:00

Busy girl.

Yoshi and I are all moved in to the new place. It's just the two of us now, and as much as I enjoy not having to share my space with anyone else anymore, I must admit, it is getting a bit lonely. He and I are working some opposite schedules right now, so there has been a lot of time for me to sort of commune with my new space. And I did it by buying lots of yarn online. I warned him; the stash fit into only one box, and that is just unacceptable.

WEBS is having an awesome sale. Need I say more?

There are needles, a pattern book, and a giant pile of yarn winging my way this very minute. This is what I did today rather than re-organize the bookshelves.

Here's a question: How is it that when Yoshi and I packed all the books, they all came off the shelves they fit onto, but when we unpacked the books, it turns out we need an entire extra shelf? I mean, a six foot by two and a half foot whole extra shelf. Not three extra feet of shelf, but a freaking bookcase of shelfspace. What's more, we both went through our books and donated about six cubic feet worth of books to the library, in the interest of keeping knowledge and entertainment in rotation. What the hell, man? This is in total defiance of all the laws of physics.

Yeah, no knitting pictures. Don't worry, they're coming.

2007-04-12T10:18:00.000-04:00

Wow. Not since March 20? Where have I been?

I'll tell you where; I've been working and trying to coordinate my move. Yoshi and I are finally getting out of the Giant House of Crazy and into our own apartment (population: 2!). I've been trying to separate two households from one, and right now, my living room looks like a cardboard bomb went off in it. Most fun? Packing up the stash. I realized it all fit into one box with a little room to spare, so I let Yoshi know that there will be some serious stash enhancement in our near future. His only request was that I order online and have stuff shipped to the new address, so we don't have to move anything more. I think he didn't understand the part about the "room to spare" in the box...

Knitting? Well, yeah, a little. I made this giant green shrug-thing. It's completely awkward and I love every stitch of it. The Mel Clark/Tracey Ullman book (Knit 2 Together) has two patterns for shrugs in it, and I have bastardized them both into this bulky thing to keep the air conditioning off me while sitting and knitting. I have resolved to finish the first sleeve today and pick up the stitches for the second one. I am slowly beating it into submission, and you might say the thing looks like a chunky nightmare, but it's exactly what I set out to make, believe it or not. Here's what I did:

Measure yourself with arms extended from mid-bicep to mid-bicep. Knit a gauge swatch. Cast on enough stitches to cover that length. Knit stockinette until the length is slightly more than half the width; bind off. Do a little knitting origami; fold the thing in half the long way, and seam up the sides about halfway, so what you have is like an envelope with holes in the corners, and the cast-on and bind-off edges are exposed. Pick up a pile of stitches from the cast on and bound off edges, and work a little ribbing in the round to tighten things up; I started with K2P1 rib and then decreased to K1P1, just to achieve a little fit. Three inches did the trick for me. Then, where those little holes are in the sides, pick up some stitches and work them in the round until the sleeves are as long as you like. Again, I am starting with K2P1 rib and decreasing down to K1P1, so the cuffs are a bit tighter than the sleeves. Put the whole awkward thing on your shoulders and ignore your roommates who keep asking "is it supposed to look like that?", because it is.

I am a by-the-seat-of-my-pants knitter, can you tell? When I first read Mason-Dixon Knitting, I was so enamored of the cover which read something like "celebrating the give 'em hell attitude of just picking up some sticks and making stuff." (Sorry, not a direct quote; the book is packed.) I'l post a picture (hopefully) later today, when I finish the first sleeve, so maybe the craptastic directions I gave you will make a little more sense.

Anyway, I miss you, bloglanders. I'll talk at you again soon after the dust settles.

Ah, one more thing. For Cygknit. I am so sad about Juniper. I'll never hear the Dreidel Song without thinking Senor Pantalones. I hope you are doing okay.

Don't question me.

2007-03-20T00:27:00.000-04:00

Anyone who thinks that the fact that I am obsessed with pretty string is stupid needs to realize this:

I CAN KNIT A PURSE SHAPED LIKE A VAGINA.

Now, I know what you are thinking. Maybe a vagina purse is a little vulgar for my personal style. Maybe the colors of vagina don't match anything in my wardrobe. Maybe I am just so creeped out by the possibility of knitting a vagina into which I will casually toss my keys that I can't help but share it with the world. But dammit, I am not saying I will, just that I can.

This is some seriously messed up crafting right here.

Really, this just says so much about the depth of creativity of my craft that I had to show someone else. I don't care if you've already seen it; it was my turn to show it to you.

Oh, there's lots of news. Swan came to FL for her family visit and baby shower and we went on a yarn crawl; I finished the Baby Albert jacket (tiny Einstein jacket) and matching hat I was knitting on a deadline for her and was horrified at the shower when I realized I had taken no pictures for the world to see; I got engaged. Yeah, that about sums it up.

Oh, was that too casual for you? Sorry....

I GOT ENGAGED!!

You happy now?
I will post pics of the ring when I get a chance. Evidently, Yoshi and I have gotten back together and he came back really strong. I was waiting to tell Swan in person before I posted it to the public at large.
Comment at will.

The value of silence

2007-03-03T18:52:00.000-05:00

I learned.

I figured out that I have been inviting noisy forces into my life.
I have the entire house to myself tonight, and I was struck by the silence. There is no TV from another room, no Walter babbling charmingly in her high chair, no roomies walking around in a state of screaming silence because they can no longer stand each other but are riding out the lease. No music, no Yoshi typetypetyping away in the office, no dishwasher/washing machine/dryer, no ringing phones, no cooking sounds, nothing to disturb the peace around me. And I remembered that
i like this.

And that this is a metaphor. I value my peace, and I was meandering my lazy way into turmoil and tumult on the path I was taking. I go out every night I work (at least three nights a week) and have a few drinks (my limit is two, to keep me comfortable with driving myself home). I am hanging out with new friends from work, and getting myself into trouble with old friends, as well. I haven't completed a project in weeks; haven't gone to my knitting night; haven't spent any time really talking to Yoshi. And I convinced myself that this is how life should be. Life should have a huge pile of background noise. Life should be dramatic.
And I just remembered, I hate that.
I prefer life to be meditative, peaceful and calm. It should be smooth, and above all, silent. Because when my life is silent, so is my head. So. What habits does Lisa need to change to re-incorporate the deeply valued silence I remembered?

I am going to try to go out only once or twice a week with the work friends. Sometimes, one of the girls needs a pal to talk to, and that is important to me, to be that friend, but if it's just to have a good time and "take the edge off", then I intend to bow out. It need not get excessive.

I am going to try to be good to Yoshi. We want to be together, and I have not been doing what it takes to make the two of us happy together, so more coming home, more talks about the ridiculousness of life, more Yoshi.

I am going to try to finish a knitting project. Of course, there is the fact that I am currently knitting on a deadline right now, so I guess that's the first project to try to finish. Something for Cyn's baby (she knows there's a hand knit in her future, just not what it is, so no peeking!).

I am going to try to cook more. There's no pleasure like a finished project in less than three hours that you get to enjoy by stuffing it in your face. I remember enjoying cooking; I just never feel motivated to do it. Well. I think that is reason enough to start making jams, jellies and pastas.

I am going to write a story down. I always said I wanted to; what's stopping me?

I am goingt ot do my damnedest to get back to knitting night. No explanations needed.

Silence helps me tap my creativity. Silence encourages me to read more, learn more, write more, sit down and figure it out more. And I like that. Noise just makes me want to turn on the TV and try to drown out the other noise in my life (yes, another metaphor, but I'm not holding your hand through this one).
Less stress. More silence. And I know, kids aren't quiet, and I expressed a want for those recently, but I have at least two years before procreation interrupts my peace and I might as well enjoy it.

Spinning my wheels

2007-02-25T01:26:00.000-05:00

I really enjoy that Cyn will be frustrated with the title of this post. She has been trying to get me to spin for ages, and oh, yes, it's a double entendre for her alone, because I am not about to spin, sucka!
I am very busy lately going back and forth in my head about what to do with my life. I am playing devil's advocate with Yoshi, arguing every point I see valid, whether I believe in it or not and both for and against whatever issue I am getting self-absorbed into. I really need to back the hell off of everything (the relationship, the future, the odd idea that I may be seeking [gasp!] normalcy) and relax. I have a friend at the restaurant who teaches yoga, and I think it's time to go stretch my muscles and meditate on inner truth and less on drama.
For example:

Is the truth about me the ancient addiction, or the overcoming of it? Is a person really always an addict, or is it a curable disease? Therefore, is there hope for me that I will simply never go back on the blow again?
Ditto infidelity. Yes, another double entendre with the word "blow". dirty girl. Ha, ha; I'm in rare form.
Is it enough that Yoshi wants me bad enough to want to give me children, or is that an unreliable cicumstance to put a child into? Consider that there is absolutely no question about Yoshi's ability to commit. To me, to his children; I have no doubts about his dedication, just his motives.

I am so consumed by all this that I am not even taking it seriously anymore; I can't even take a stand and decide how I feel about him/me/us/forever. The answer to every question I ask is a smirking maybe; every friend I have says they can't make this decision for me, not realizing that I don't want to be told what to do, I just want to hash it out with some fresh eyes on it. Perspective. Action will follow, and it will be all me.

I have no problems with taking responsibility for my decisions; I do have a problem with an utter incapability to make them. I need a plan.

And I need to go to bed so I can pick up Krispy Kremes in the morning. I have a donut date with an entire service staff.

Want want want

2007-02-21T17:31:00.000-05:00

I gotta figure out what it is I want (Freud's age-old question, what DO women want?). And i realized I don't need to know everything I want right now. But at least one thing is enough, and I know what at least one thing is.
So, here's what I want:

I want to have my own kids.
I have kids by proxy right now. Cyn is preggers with her first, and there's Walter, and that is all well and good. I love them, they love me (well, the jury is still out on the unborn Judea-scamper in Cyn's belly, but oh, yes, he will love me). But I can give them back.

I want my own kids.
Yoshi does not want kids at all. What does this tell anyone about the potential of our future?
He told me he would have them if it was what I wanted. How the hell can I put that on my child? That Daddy is only Daddy because he can't live without Mommy?
So, Yoshi and I are in the breaking up process. It's only fair. I suppose I'd rather be alone with the possibility that someday I will have my own kids with a man who loves me and will love them, than be with a man who loves me so much that he will have children he never ever ever wanted.
Of course, I wonder who is going to take care of me the way he does. Yoshi is wonderful to me, and I love him so much that I have been trying for two years now to not want children. But I can't let it go, and he can't change his mind. That leaves us in a very cold place. But dammit,

I want my own kids.
I want my family. I want my home to be made up of people, not a place. I wanted him to want to be part of that the way I want it but it is simply not possible, and it's time I stopped lying to myself about it. Yes, this is the same way I lost my first husband, and yes, it still hurts that I lost him, I loved him so much. And yes, I loved Yoshi just as much and oh, so much more. But how does a girl give up on millions of years of instinct towards the survival of the species? Maternal yearning? And yes, I know losing Yoshi is going to be painful for years to come.
Not looking forward to it.
It's all still very fresh and new, like a deep scrape to the shins that isn't ready to stop bleeding; I know there is a brightness somewhere on the horizon, but I am not ready to see it, so, no, I dont want to be "cheered up". I just want to mourn another loss for a little while until I am ready to move on.

Let's talk about something else.

2007-02-19T00:11:00.000-05:00

Huh. I read back over the last two posts and they don't seem to read as darkly as I thought they might. I was feeling pretty damn dark. And it doesn't come through to me right now, when I look at my own words.
It seems I have always had to survive. Everything I have, I have struggled for. And some things I thought I had, hard-earned integrity-related things, I am finding I don't really have them. Fleeting things.
I was happy to deal with the crap that rolls around in my head and get through my life, but a kindly friend has pointed out that "functioning through each day" is simply not going to be good enough anymore. "Survive" is going to have to become "thrive" if I expect to ever be happier/less crazy/more than I am right now.
So, the question stands at the moment: What does Lisa want? Same friend asked me what my dreams were, and I could not answer. About twenty things rolled through my head, but I couldn't verbalize a damn one of them, so I slept on it, and I realized that I have been so busy running from what I don't want that I never get to stop and think about what I do want. If I am to become more than I am, what is that more to be? I was trying to convince myself that I wanted nothing, but I think I should have applied that to only the material aspects of my life (because really, I want for absolutely nothing. I am fed, clothed, sheltered, entertained; all the things one acquires with money are covered. A lack of greed is incredibly convenient, eh?). But now, I need to think about ME and what to do with myself and I have no answers.
Well, I have a few answers, but they need polish and shine. They're not ready to talk about. I know I want a few certain things, but I have put myself in a position to make them, hmm,.... currently unattainable. So until I figure out how to make them reachable, tangible, I don't want to put them out into the world.
If you run into me on the street and ask me, I might tell you. But I'm not ready to put anything here yet.

Where am I?

2007-02-15T15:52:00.000-05:00

I think I sink a little deeper every February. I wonder why? It seems last year I lost my mind in February for a little while, too, but I chalked it up to the credit problems and my car breaking down. I just can't seem to get a rhythym for the second month.
And oh, yes, I am losing my mind a little (a lot). I am questioning everything around me lately, over-analyzing the value of everything in my life, and wondering if I shouldn't just sell everything I own and move far far away. Away from everything and everyone I ever knew. Start fresh. Be someone else. Because this where and this who ain't working out so great.
I didn't have a Valentine's Day. I remember a time when I was so grateful for any reason to celebrate something, and love is something I can really get behind (natural highs, ya know). But I came home to Yoshi on Tuesday night and there were roses and donuts, and I couldn't bring myself to give a crap. I did nothing for him at all. I just let it walk by me and did not care.
OK, he loves me. And it is the kind of love that moves in with two cats and a baby, despite allergies and utter distaste for children. He puts up with all my crazy (and whoa, there is a lot of it. If you ever think you don't have a lot of crazy, try explaining yourself to someone completely unfamiliar with your particular brand of crazy. By listening to yourself objectively, you will know immediately just how crazy you are, and that they should put the sharp objects away fast without making any sudden moves.). He feeds me dinner every night and never complains about cleaning up. He's a wonderful man who doesn't deserve his girl questioning why she is bothering.
I am okay with my job, I think. I enjoy doing it well and strive not to do it badly. It's not the job.
The domestic situation could be better, but it's nothing I can't handle. Roomies are doing what they can to be bearable.
There are, admittedly, many things going on that are not for public knowledge, so I won't post about it here, but I feel they are a symptom and not the disease. For example, I am drinking again, two or three nights a week with friends from work. But like I said, not the problem, just an indicator of a greater problem.
I'm tired of being strong; I'm tired of surviving through a little more trauma; I'm tired I'm tired I'm tired. And it's not even as if I would be this strong without something propping me up (drugs, alcohol, meaningless sex, a man in my life, being a bitch). I just look back at my thirty years and wonder why any (or all) of that didn't kill me yet. Holy granola, what's it gonna take?! I feel like I've lost so much and gained so little, and eventually something will be big enough to take me down.
And right now, I just want to be taken down. I'm tired of being crazy and I'm tired of grief and I'm tired of mourning and I'm tired of feeling like a weak little girl because I don't know anyone else who feels like this. I'm tired of feeling expendable in my own life.

I don't know how to close this off. I'm just going to stop.

Yeah, yeah.

2007-02-11T01:07:00.000-05:00

I haven't been here in a while.

And I haven't really missed it. I feel like this has been a sounding board for me to complain about my life and then re-read the post I just wrote, then realize I don't want to be so negative so I delete a lot of posts. And it seems like a lot of negative lately.

This was supposed to be fun, you know. But it seems like a burden to me lately. Get out the camera, pose the yarn, take a bunch of pictures and reject a pile of them, then try to get Blogger to post them (kind of hit or miss in the past, but I haven't bothered to update to Blogger Beta or wahtever we have now). Come up with stupid captions that don't sound like I think I suck, because I don't really think I suck. I just sound like I do most days.

Maybe I am going through some mess; maybe I'm not. I don't have a lot of perspective as of late. I am knitting, when I can focus on it and enjoy it, but at least one project can't be photographed until it goes to it's intended recipient, and the rest just looks like a piece of, well... something. There's a big green rectangle of handspun from Rhinebeck, the toe of a red sock (I did teach myself a provisional crochet cast on and short row toes!) and something in a mild khaki color I can't talk about in public.

I am having fun, too. Friday, I and three of my absolute favorite girls from work went for a mini road trip to go thrift shopping and had a blast. We shopped. We told stupid stories (mine was about the true meaning of Valentine's Day and St. Valentine's high-maintenance girlfriend). We stole mayonaisse (no, really, we did). We had a great time. I bought vintage needlecraft books (I think the Roman numerals say 1975, but I may be wrong). I realized I know a lot of random facts, and do a lot of really random things (like make jam while listening to Pantera). We are going to all clean out our closets and have a swapping party, we had so much fun.

But my mind wanders all day, every day. To heavy things. To things I don't want to think about. To things I shouldn't have done and ways I shouldn't have done them. Everyone has a past (some people's pasts are only two weeks old, does anyone else realize this!?) and I won't regret mine, but I will revisit it and ponder. I will remember. Sometimes memories are all you have left, you know? And sometimes they are all you need. I am thankful for the times they are all I want.

I wonder if this is one of those times.

I realize that anyone who doesn't know me will find all this rather vague, but that's intentional. Or at least dismissable to me. I haven't posted here, and I am not apologizing for it. I haven't even made it to my knitting circle for the past two weeks, and I am not apologizing there because they are nice people who realize sometimes Lisa's a busy girl, so you can all come to that realization, as well. I know you understand. You're cool like that.

I'll be here when I can.

promises, promises

2007-01-24T02:36:00.000-05:00

i am going to post tomorrow i am going to post tomorrow i am going to post tomorrow.
Oh, yeah, remember don't drink and post? I wish I did right this very minute.
I am going to make every effort to flash the stash tomorrow. This will involve much picture taking and a confession of yarn acquisition from Saturday. Lots of yarn. I have been a bad girl.
i am really going to post tomorrow.

Stitch from the stash (bit of a wanderpost)

2007-01-14T01:28:00.000-05:00

I've been hearing a spot about stitch form the stash lately. Seems we knitters need our closet space back. There are pros and cons.

I really enjoy the road trips I take to acquire stash. And I always have a few ideas in mind for what I want to buy for what I want to make (North Carolina trip had a cross-referenced shopping list along with a giant notebook for keeping track of the impulse buys). And I kind of enjoy it as stash, but if it never fulfills it's yarny destiny, than am I denying the stash it's true potential?
What if I am suddenly unemployed and cannot afford more yarn? I better have a backlog of project material to play with while waiting for job interviews.
Man, oh man, did I ever buy a lot of absolute crap. I don't want to be reminded of it, let alone turn it into something I will use often, but you can't just get rid of it... can you?
What am I going to do with all that lace weight? I get a bit bored of lace... the purple scarf from eons ago is still at the same length as this picture.
I am endlessly made fun of in my home for all the yarn I own. Freakin' muggles. If I can get one area of stash cleared out, I can prove the usefulness of the yarn and then... go get more.
Is this realistic? Really, I am just going to go replenish the stash. I am saving money by leaving the stash alone, aren't I? (The answer is no, by the way. I will buy yarn if I damn well want to, and dammit, I want to.)

I guess what I should really invest in is more needles so I can start swatching the stash. There's my shopping fix, eh?

Ahh, well. I could go on all night. The truth is, I have already started whittling away at the stash, a skein at a time. Soon enough, all the yarn surrounding the hole I am making will look lonely, and I will have to go bring it home new fibery friends to snuggle with. Perhaps I should focus on stash rotation, you know, find the oldest stuff and work with it first? Send all the stuff I don't care for to charity or swap? I am open to suggestions. My current method for deciding what to work with is along the lines of "Look! Shiny! Shinyprettysoft!" and small instant gratification projects. But I tell you, the two year old silk blend is really starting to hurt my feelings.

Colorwork

2007-01-10T18:17:00.000-05:00

I really enjoy colorwork lately. Here's a little change purse.
Ain't it cute? The girls I work with need little bags for change and whatnot, to keep in their aprons, so I am filling the need with color. This is a slip stitch pattern out of the Vogue Stitchionary 3. It came out really cute, if you ask me.
Think I gotta do more colorwork. The interplay really intrigues me, no matter how small the item. I like the way one color next to another creates a different feel entirely. So, of course, I just cast on a small purse in one color with minimal shaping and it is possible I will run out of yarn before I reach the handles. Yes, I am a sucker for punishment. And of course, it is a discontinued yarn I can never get any more of. I am brilliant that way.
Aren't you impressed?

I Survived Christmas and All I Got was this Lousy Blog Post

2006-12-27T19:32:00.000-05:00

Okay, that title is entirely untrue. I got more than the blog post. We'll get to that.

Mom and Dad Dragon came out for the festivities in the early afternoon. We ate turkey within an hour of their arrival, then opened up the gifts we got each other. By late afternoon, they packed it in and went home. Mixed emotions.

First, I wasn't looking forward to this holiday (as we all know). So the fact that it was over quick was, well, kinda nice. I was exhausted; I fell asleep in Yoshi's lap around 6 pm and didn't wake up properly until the next morning (8:15), when I went to work. Sure, he picked my sorry butt up off the couch and walked me to bed, but that was all the activity I could muster. I was done for.

On the other hand, my parents didn't even stay for pie and egg nog. (Don't worry, Yoshi and I ate the entire pecan pie already, and there are two cheesecakes and a French silk to go, courtesy of Mom) If I had known they were going to do this, I would have slept the extra hour and a half in the morning rather than get up to bake a pecan pie. Also, when I go to them for holidays and such, they always get a little pouty if I act like I am going to leave before we watch a movie or visit a while or do whatever it is they want to do. I feel a bit obligated to stay, because I really don't make a huge effort to go see them "just because" anymore. But they were nothing but tail lights before the sun went down. I have to admit, I have a tiny amount of hurt feelings over this.

There is, of course, more.

I don't think my father is comfortable in my home, or on my "turf". It takes the man an hour and a half to get here, and he always has a reason to leave immediately. He has to check on his puppies, he has to pick up his boat, he has "things to do". The man is retired, what does he have to do?!? Example:

Not long ago, my 'rents had cause to pick up some extended family from the airport that is just down the street from my house; they knew I was going to be working, so I asked them to come have lunch in my restaurant so I could have a chance to see said family and them, and they could see the beautiful place I work. Halfway through their entrees, Dad is saying we gotta go, give us our check. I never planned on giving them their check, and said so, and he got a little cranky and made more "I gotta go" noises at me, until I explained that their lunch was on me and they were welcome to come and go as they wished, and invited them to walk the grounds a bit, because there is a pretty lake and dock right outside and I hoped they would like it. He left a really nice tip on the table and almost got away without even saying goodbye.

I guess the moral of the story is, I just don't get my father. I'm just not his baby girl anymore, unless I am in his house or somehow on his terms, like if he takes me to lunch or something like that. *sigh*

There was a really great part of Christmas this year. It was Yoshi. He was kind and supportive during my pre-holiday meltdown, thoughtful and generous in his gifts for me, grateful for the gifts I got him, helpful all Christmas day. He made the best turkey ever, carved it up and served it, and all in all acted like he didn't hate any part of what was going on. He complimented most of my side dishes (he doesn't eat stuffing or carrots, but really enjoyed everything else), and loved my pie. He watched me become crestfallen when Mom and Dad left, and reacted with cheer and enthusiasm, to make sure I didn't bottom out. He was unbelievably great, and I am lucky to have him on holidays and any other day.

Best present? That award goes to the book of constellations from Yoshi, which he got so we can lay in our backyard hammock together at night, and stargaze. Yup. He bought me a bookful of quality time. And that's why I have fallen in love with him all over again this Christmas.

We interrupt this program...

2006-12-23T10:42:00.000-05:00

I interrupt my holiday bitching to bring you the Malabrigo Slipper Socks.

I took a few minutes out of my morning of house cleaning to kitchener the toe on the second sock (which my knitting circle will recognize as the "have you felt my yarn?" sock I was working on two weeks ago). That quickly turned into "where's my camera?" and then " I gotta get this on the blog, STAT!" How gorgeous are these socks!?!

please ignore the unshaven leg. i'm a busy girl.

I have never loved a yarn more than I loved this stuff. Ridiculously soft, incredible depth of color. I had thought about giving these away, but I don't think I can. I am in love with my feet right now, and we are never ever breaking up.

And now back to our regularly scheduled griping.

Positive Mental Attitude

2006-12-22T09:17:00.000-05:00

At the restaurant where I work, they coach you almost constantly on the concept of Positive Mental Attitude (PMA). This is necessary, because servers are trying to accomodate our guests in a friendly and professional way while screaming at each other, being screamed at by management and the kitchen, and hoping there is no screaming coming from the dining room. If you can practice a little PMA, you will not commit suicide on your drive home by slamming your car into a tractor trailer, and this benefits everyone.
So, I am doing what I can to inject a little PMA into my holiday spirit (even though I had to miss knitting night so I could finish shopping and wrap a pile of gifts). I gotta get out of this funk before Monday, or I will stick my head into the oven next to the turkey, and that is not Good Eats (even though I still have to clean the whole house and have no decorations up whatsoever). I must persevere in this goal in order to not ruin everyone else's holiday (even though I have to work 34 hours before Monday and can't find the time to sleep, let alone chop celery for stuffing).
Solution found!
I recruited.
Yoshi is helping out. He will be cleaning the house up a bit, and setting up my mise en place all day Sunday so I can just throw stuff together and into the oven/onto the stove/into my mouth. Not bad for a guy who doesn't believe in holidays. I guess he does believe in helping me have a decent holiday. And Jenn has offered to have my back, as well. So while I am on my double shift on Sunday, the two of them will be chopping and scrubbing and making sure Lisa doesn't have a mental breakdown.
And that's what the Christmas spirit is really all about, isn't it? Helping your friends not harm themselves. If only Charlie Brown knew.
And if anyone asks me what I knit for them for Christmas, they are getting size 15s to the throat. Merry Christmas.

It just ain't happening

2006-12-20T22:36:00.000-05:00

I recently read a little something about the infrequency of posting. It made me feel a wee bit guilty. Then I realized, I have a life outside my computer. Who knew?
Knitting? What knitting? I have been working way too much to even get the yarn out of skein form, let alone pick up some sticks. I am just so tired and holidays are bearing down. I really thought I might get out of it this year until Mama Dragon let me know she would be taking me up on my challenge to come to my house this year. Note to all who don't necessarily care for holidays: Do not throw down the gauntlet at your mother. She will pick it up and make you run around all day buying turkey and trimmings and gifts and considering the dietary needs of others, with not even a second thought that you may have been bluffing.
Okay, maybe I'm a little (read: a lot) bah humbug, but man, oh man, I don't care for holidays anymore. I don't believe in Christmas in so many ways. I am not a Christian, nor do I subscribe to the rampant consumerism that plagues this holiday. No Santa for me, thanks. Family get-togethers? Not really big on those since my own family started dwindling down through deaths and loss of contact. My family used to be really large, and a fun group, but now... I am just reminded further that we are not what we used to be every time I see another empty place at the table.
Possible solutions? I could start raising my own family; not really ready for that, though. I could banish the holiday from my life (tried and failed) but the way our country operates will not allow that. Everywhere I look is another reminder that it is THE HOLIDAY SEASON and I should be out spending money and time gifting people in mass quantities.
I just can't get into this anymore. I'm just too tired of it all. I saw through the master plan, I peeked behind the curtain, I am unable to believe in the spirit of the season. Depressing? Yes. Cynical? Very. Be assured, it is more painful for me than you.
Yoshi is getting gifts, though. And damn thoughtful ones, at that. I'm trying, people, I really am, but it's hard. At least I'm not attempting to knit on a deadline, like the rest of the knitting world. Takes all the fun out of it, if you ask me (and you are still reading, so I assume you would).
I'm just unhappy right now. Sorry for the total lack of knitting content and oversaturation of cynicism. I'll be back to normal perkiness levels after January 7, I promise.

Where did I find the time?

2006-12-07T21:30:00.000-05:00

I have news! And it's knitty news! Yay!

I present to you the Monkey Hat.

Pattern: Made up as I went along. Yarn: Patons Classic Wool. The recipient was not keen on having his picture taken for the blog (actually, I got a picture which didn't work out so he wasn't keen on a second picture) so it is shown here next to a Diet Rock Star. He showed it off to anyone who walked by and stroked the living heck out of my ego. Thanks, Brett. That was ridiculously nice of you. I hope he enjoys it.

I really like the Fair Isle. I'm going to have to do that a lot more.

There's also this crazy group of ladies.

There is a great group of women who meet every Thursday night (6-ish to 9-ish at Borders in Oviedo, if anyone wants to know) and I crashed their party the Thursday before Thanksgiving. They were so nice and welcoming that I keep going back. I've never knit in a group before; I find myself wanting to put down my knitting (gasp!) and walk around seeing what everyone else is playing with. I need to get one of those little hip bags or something so I can walk around while knitting and satisfy my curiosity. I saw a bit of magic loop today, which I had not yet seen, and shared a few tips I have up my own sleeve about sleeves (ha!). Also found out that maybe Knit Picks has the dpn holders I am coveting. I have a great set for my size 2s, and am desperate for more. Rubber bands ain't gonna cut it much longer, now that I have a weekly reminder that I have stuff worth showing off. I worked on the second Malabrigo sock today. Remember, the one where I was teaching my roommate to knit socks? Yeah, second sock syndrome prevented the casting on of this poor little sock, but the yarn is so soft and the colors so impressive that I thought I would show the ladies and get some drooling going while defeating SSS apathy. I have a feeling that sales of Malabrigo are about to rise in Orlando. It really is the best stuff ever.

Other news? I can't believe Heroes won't be back until late January. Why do they do that?

Still have a pulse, but it's weak and needs socks...

2006-12-06T10:01:00.000-05:00

No, really, I am still alive. I just don't look it.

Work is killing me. We are a bit understaffed, and I am pounding out a grand total of NINE SHIFTS this week. Six days, three of which are doubles (about 13-14 hours). I am going to have to start remembering that I need to eat in the middle of the day whether the restaurant thinks so or not. They put food out for us every day (we call it family meal, because everyone comes in early and sits together like a family) but yesterday, some ball was dropped and we were not fed. If I had realized this, I would have hit up the crappy fast food places all around my restaurant on my break, but I was kinda counting on the free food, so last night was awful. Low blood sugar does not help you remember to ring in someone's Caesar salads. And getting over this horrible creeping crud infesting my lungs and sinuses was not helping either. Wah.

In lighter news, I made a hat with monkeys all over it. There's a guy I work with who seemed to really enjoy the fact that I look like I am twelve years old when I am actually thirty (use your moisturizers, ladies!) and I knit. He would tease me mercilessly until I said to him, if you don't stop it, I will never knit you a hat. So now, all I ever hear is where is my hat? I want my hat! Turned the tables on that, eh? If only he would shut up...

I will post pics of the hat when it is finished and I can get him to model it. Let's just say that my Fair Isle designing is far beyond my sock designing. Oh, yeah, the sock....

I am so sad about the sock. I was really excited about the sock until the heel. I converted a textured pattern out of a Stitchionary into the round and was merrily working away on these flame red socks. I was happy. I was ignoring the fact that the variegated colors looked not as great in the purl background as they would have in stockinette. I was not paying attention to the yarn that liked to split when I worked the cross-overs in the texture pattern. I was just pleased and forgiving about the mishaps of the sock, until the heel.

I wanted less textural contrast, so I decided not to do the usual slipped stitch heel flap I know is so sturdy and durable. I decided hourglass heels would be nice and make an easy transition from the textured leg into the sole of the foot, as they look all stockinette-y (not a word) and the sole would be stockinette, with the texturing continuing on the instep. Apparently, I do not know enough about short rows to successfully pull off an hourglass heel. Let me correct myself: I winged it. I figured I know what a short row is, I know what it does for shaping, I know how to make one, let's just go, go, go! Hmmm. Apparently, one must also know how many short rows one needs and where they must go and whether one needs a plain row or two. Or fourteen. I swear, the heel looked rather, hmmm, nipular (also not a word).

I thougth I could rip back and pick up the stitches. The yarn had other plans.

So, you know how when you are in a relationship, when one thing goes wrong, all the things you have been forgiving for so long about this person come glaring out into the light? You have always said to yourself something like "You know, maybe he leaves his wet towels on the floor, but I love him anyway." And then he forgets the second anniversary of your third date and those wet towels are the most offensive thing you've ever seen? You take them personally, you just know he keeps putting those towels there to piss you off, you pick fights over the towels and then break up and realize you could never live with that guy for the rest of your life anyway?

Have I taken the metaphor too far?

All of a sudden, I hated the pattern. And I knew that with less difficult stitches to deal with, the yarn would behave more like yarn and less like Sybil. Less splitting, more color showing off. I broke up with the pattern and am trying to move on.

Jenn was nice enough to frog the poor sock on the ball winder with me.

And for anyone thinking they are clever and reading between the lines, Yoshi and I are fine, even though we are working hard schedules lately and don't see each other much. We still get to sleep next to each other every night, and that's enough for now. Especially since he always hangs up his towels (me, not so much. I leave them everywhere.).

Dressed for Success

2006-11-23T22:22:00.000-05:00

Can I show off my beautiful niece in her new sweater?

Doesn't Walter look warm and snuggly?

And the requisite action shot. Hey, you try to get a 14-month-old to hold still for digital.
It's really nice and roomy for Walter to get on over her clothes. Jenn and I have decided to forego the embroidery in favor of the simplicity of the ribby border. It's not like we can't add them later if we feel the kid needs more zazz. But in case you don't know and want to, the specs on the sweater are as follows:

Yarn: Handspun Romney purchased from this nice lady at Rhinebeck. I notice she doesn't have the dyed yarn for sale on her site, but the colorway was called "Pesto" (in case anyone wants to contact the nice lady about the color) and the yarn is very natural and earthy to work with. Smells very faintly of clean sheep, too, which I happened to really like (I've had handspun smell like unclean sheep which I did not like at all, and I have seen handspun so overprocessed that it smelled like absolutely nothing, which seemed too anaesthetic to me). Wasn't really thrilled about the color fading a bit, but I hear if I had given the yarn a warm water and vinegar soak it would not have been so bad, so I blame myself, and not the nice lady. Did I mention how nice she was?
Gauge: 4 sts to the inch on US size 9 straights.
Pattern: Made up as I went along. HAH! And I knitted the flower shaped shank buttons right in with a tiny crochet hook, same way you would bead as you go.

My favorite part? Walter didn't want to take it off. She seemed to really like it.

My holiday was less than great, so I am just leaving this great image of a kid in a handmade sweater for you all to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.

A learning process

2006-11-20T00:01:00.000-05:00

In which we learn the importance of washing the swatch.

So, I bought a nice chunk of handspun at Rhinebeck in a pretty green, a very sagey and herbal green, and it was destined to become a sweater for sweet little Princess Walter. I wound up a ball and then made my dutiful little gauge swatch instead of guessing at some gauge and hoping it was okay (incidentally, the gauge I guessed at was dead on, but that is not the point). I made up a pattern for a cardigan with a little border into which I intend to embroider a few lazy daisies, and happily cast on and finished all five pieces in record time. Bound-off little cardigan pieces for my one year old niece. I was so excited. I knew if I blocked first, finishing would come out a lot easier, so I ran a sink full of room temp water and some Woolite. Gently laid all the pieces into the water and walked away as calmly as possible.

I came back a few minutes later and noticed something odd about the foam on the top of the water. It was blue. The rinse water (both first and second) was also blue. Huh.

The lovely green of the yarn has become downright limey. I know, I should have washed the swatch to find this out sooner. And I am a little nervous to do the embroidery in anything but a plasticky (is that a word?) acrylic now, to avoid the white daisies absorbing any more dye that might wash out of the fabric. And yes, they must be white to go with the buttons I knitted in. Not to mention, I will do the finishing with the same yarn, which doesn't really match anymore. I don't want to wash the seaming yarn first; I'd prefer to sew up the seams, do the embroidery, and then give it a reasonable soak to even out the seaming and body colors. That way, I will know the daisies will stay white and hopefully it will all at least match in the end.

But it's not what I wanted. It's not the color I had in mind. And I won't post a picture until it's all finished up so someone can tell me it looks great finished (who really wants a bunch of pictures of cardigan pieces, anyway?).

*Sigh*

There are other things going on in my life right now (like crashing a knitting party Thursday night and Thanksgiving plans) but I am too sad about the green that is no more.

Wash your swatches, people!

Happy happy joy joy.

2006-11-13T00:19:00.000-05:00

In case you haven't been there yet, go check out CygKnit. She's got news.

And incidentally, the title of this post is an homage to their wedding recessional. Yes, they did play Ren and Stimpy at their wedding. I blame Mr. CygKnit, myself, but she had to agree to it sometime.

Congrats, girl.

Working through the new stash

2006-11-08T18:25:00.000-05:00

I have been knitting up a storm.

Here we have my finished New England Fall Colors Beret, from Morehouse Merino:

It is blocking on the lid to some baking dish. And, oh! The colors! This picture and crappy background does them no justice whatsoever, but since I look the way I normally look on my days off, I am not about to model it (besides, it is soggy and smells like wet sheep right now), and it is dark outside, anyway, so you just deal with the crappy color representation, okay? Matching scarf getting cast on later tonight.

I bought some sage green handspun from a nice lady at Rhinebeck. She was spinning in her stall, and I just thought that was too cool to pass up.

This is the beginning of a cardigan for Walter. Pattern? I don't need no stinking pattern! I am winging this sucker right into existence! Those little reverse stockinette blocks at the bottom will house embroidered lazy daisies. This is the back, and it's already halfway finished. I cast on just this afternoon, so if you subtract the time I wasted for having to frog the first attempt due to a minor math error (the biggest problem with the make-it-up-as-you-go-along method), and take into consideration that I have to work sometime this week, this whole sweater ought to take me about ten days to finish.

Do not hold me to that.

Damn, I love knitting for tiny people. Is it any wonder I haven't even wound up the yarn for Yoshi's socks yet? Hmmmm, huge-ass feet or tiny baby torso... Tough decision, since these two things are almost the same size.

And does anyone realize but me that I am casting on two projects in one day? Does anyone remember how much I hate to cast on?

Other projects are going okay. I taught Jenn to kitchener, and she finished her first sock; now we are both trapped in the dreaded Second Sock Syndrome. I haven't even cast mine on; she stopped in the middle of turning a heel to rescue Walter from certain doom and doesn't remember what she was doing, and is not anxious to rip back to where she did know what she was doing(Hey, it's her second sock EVER, cut the girl some slack).

I divided Yoshi's sweater for the armholes and it is going very slowly. I am figuring out how to knit the sleeves into the curved armholes in my head (as if I am going to be ready to do it any time soon). I don't want to reference other patterns; I want to figure it out on my own and see if I am as clever as I wish I was. Am. Whatever. I am a little worried about it, though, so hopefully his arms aren't pointing forever up when he gets it. I am shooting for sometime in December, so he might actually get to wear it this season. I'm also going to whip out a quick gaiter for him to wear while on the motorcycle, probably in some washable silk blend the really nice peoples at the Knitty Coffeeshop Forum recommended. But that will require buying more yarn... and groceries seem a little more important right now, since I have so much nice new yarn to play with.

Part Two, in which I meet Admirable Women, am entertained by Olive the cat, and get up to Mischief First Class

2006-11-03T17:24:00.000-05:00

More Rhinebeck! Yaaayy!

Did I mention the imaginary rodents? No? WELL, Swan decided to try to put on over on me and made up this animal, a "wood-chuck*", and kept claiming to see them on the side of the road, "sleeping". I will have you know, Swan, I did not then and do not now believe in the existence of such creatures as "wood-chucks", so you can stop with the funny-ha-ha joke. There are no "wood-chucks" just like there are no "baby pidgeons" or "midget cats".

I wore the Cookie Monster sweater on Saturday, and have firmly resolved to knit myself sweaters for every day of the week so I can always feel "that way", the way that says "this looks nice and everything about it is my doing". I received lovely compliments on it, one of which I will relate to you now.

I met Stephanie. Swan was standing in the Socks that Rock line, and I decided to take a little walk around building A, which housed Grafton Fibers, Golding, and lots of other beautiful things, like knitters in the throws of yarn-acquiring passion. I was just browsing about and I look right and recognized a certain shawl of which the wearer needs to be very proud. I looked up slightly from the shawl and saw the infamous huge freakin' hair (which seemed to be behaving itself for Rhinebeck). I admit, I was a bit dumbstruck. I really admire Stephanie Pearl-McPhee; not only is she a very talented knitter, but funny as all hell and, according to her friends, an incredible family woman. I enjoy her books not because she wrote them but because they are genuinely enjoyable; her style is sincere yet amusing, and I always learn something from her. So I said in the stupidest voice I could muster, "Oh, you finished the shawl."
Harlot: Yes, I did.
Me: It's gorgeous. (Wishing I had said something intelligent like, may I see the other side or even do you mind if I touch it?)
Harlot: Thank you... That's a beautiful sweater.
Me: DUH.....
Harlot: (touches sweater) It's really soft.
Me: (a bit loudly) ThankyousomuchitismyfirstsweaterandIamwearingitforthefirsttimetoday!
Harlot: Oh, there's no charm like a first sweater. (turning to Juno) Look, it's her first sweater, feel how soft.
Me: (blushing and melting into the floor and realizing that everyone but me is still talking)
Harlot: It was nice to meet you.
Me: bye...
And then I was a bit starstruck for about an hour.

I didn't want to bother her again (and I was embarrassed and a bit shy), she seemed quite busy with all the fibrous goings-on (and I certainly do not blame her), so I took my photo op later... and I present to you, Yarn Harlot and Enchanting Juno in Natural Habitat:

Shortly after was the Blogger Bingo meet-up, where I met this nice lady:

I figured I had already blown my starstruck stupid moment on Stephanie, so I was not going to waste another opportunity to meet a woman I admire (girl is self-employed running an online knitting mag, how cool is that?). I walked right up to Amy Singer, Swan in tow to get the picture for me, and said as cool as I could, "May I be a dorky little fan girl for a moment?"
Amy: Of course!
Me: (pulled out my Pixie, made from her first book, and put it on)
Amy: OH MY GOD I LOVE THAT! Can I have a picture?
Me: Only if I can too.
And I felt much better after that. She gave me the requisite "I heart Knitty" button, I declared to her that I absolutely do heart Knitty, and we've been best friends ever since.

Welllll.... not really. But every time she saw me, she pointed and said "Pixie!" and I feel I got some cred back. She even put her picture of me on her blog. She really is the sweetest woman; she was spinning silk at Morehouse Merino later that night, and don't tell Swan, but... I was slightly interested.

More celebrities...
I met Debbie Stoller. I told her I taught myself to knit out of the first Stitch n Bitch book (yes, all by myself), and thanked her very much. Then, I told her I was wearing one of the patterns out of it (To Dye For), showed her the slight modifications I had made, and she complimented me heartily. Thanks, Debbie. Thanks for all the times you've inspired me, which is MANYMANYMANY. Girl, you got it goin' on. Sorry about the pic, but I love it anyway.

Meet Melanie Falick and Betty Christianson, of Weekend Knitting and Handknit Holidays, and Knitting for Peace, respectively. Again, inspiration. I talked to Betty about the PL Blankie, and she loved the idea that charity was keeping my friendship strong. I told Melanie about Yoshi's stocking (out of Weekend Knitting), and she was touched that I was warming my boyfriend's Grinchy heart with a pattern forom her book. And Melanie had the coolest riding boots on... wish I could pull that off in Florida.

And then everyone was very tired, so I relaxed on the most decadent bed ever:

That's all the sale yarn at Morehouse Merino. It's on a daybed in the middle of the store. They looked at me funny.

BTW, that scarf? Swan's second project ever, and she did it for me. Props, girl. Right back at you. I love that scarf.

Sunday was much running around at the festival, running into people we'd met at the book signing the night before like Sarah and Tina, and getting generally tired and cranky. So, Swan took me to her home, where Mr. CygKnit prepared us a lovely meal of Chicken Marsala. Sadly, there were peas.
No peas for me, please. I hate them. They pop and squish and taste funny I will never hear the end of it from the CygKnit family.
Fortunately, Olive the Cat came to my aid with a lovely butter rum fondue.

Olive only entertains her guests with the very best, and made this from-scratch fondue to welcome me into her home. Then she hissed at me like there was no tomorrow. Those of you who read CygKnit will recognize Olive from her many adventures in eating angora fiber, chasing wild bunnies, licking Kool-Aid dyed yarn, accidentally consuming iodine, and catching snakes.

There will be pictures of my haul as I swatch them. It is all put away now and I am not getting it out again because everyone in my house will make fun of me, including Yoshi, even though I brought home Mountain Colors Bearfoot in Granite Peak for some socks for him.

And as promised, some Hallowe'en mischief. I rolled Walter's house; I knew I could get away with it.

* - I am not stupid. I know there are woodchucks. It's just funnier this way.

What I did on my New England vacation in words and pictures, by Lisa, age 30, Part One

2006-11-02T00:25:00.000-05:00

Holy crap, I don't really suck! Here are my pictures of Rhinebeck!

Swan and I met up at Hartford Airport on Thursday afternoon, made a deeply emotional stop at WEBS (of which there are no pictures, I was fresh off the plane and the camera was packed), and promptly drove for a slow eternity through some gorgeous New England foliage. When I get to take pictures of the haul I brought home, you may notice a fall colors theme running through parts of it, but that's for another day. In the meantime...

Here's our mostly creepy motel room:

Here's what we were mostly convinced was blood on the ceiling:

Can you see it? The two funny smudges that barely show up?

We went to the Morehouse Merino shop, Sheep's Clothing, on Friday. Amazing place.

Absolutely beautiful colorways, nicest staff EVER, and this across the street:

Enough Prozac to cheer up a third world country.

They close at six so the staff can run naked through the shop, I think. That's what I would do anyway (and why I can never, ever get a job in a yarn shop with street-facing windows).

Here's Swan, happy with her yarn acquisition:

And here's me, next to the little waterfall-y creek behind the store. Fall colors. We don't see much of that down here in the tropical South. I was really inspired.
I bought a kit and needles for a beret (because I look really good in hats, wink at Cyn). I bought matching yarn for a scarf. I made Swan wind me a ball and cast on within hours of getting back to our room.
More tomorrow. Small doses of Rhinebeck are best.
Preview of coming attractions: knitting celebrities (not celebs who knit, but celebs who are celebs because they knit), a story about imaginary woodchucks, relaxing in the best bed ever, and Olive the Cat entertains. Also, Hallowe'en mischief, if I can get the picture to download properly.
Oh, and by the way: the camera? It was buried in the laundry basket of new stash sitting in the bedroom. Where'd all that new yarn come from?

Heartbroken

2006-10-27T23:04:00.000-04:00

I am really, really upset.

I took some pics at Rhinebeck of knitting celebrities, and for the life of me, I can't find the camera. No pics of the haul, either. I know it made it home, because I showed Yoshi the tiny slide show in the tiny screen on the digital camera, but where is the camera now? I don't know!!

I wanted to show you the red sock I am (mostly) designing. I wanted to show the Incredible New England Fall Colors that I Don't Get to See in Season-Free Florida beret kit I got at the Morehouse Merino shop, and the accompanying scarf yarn. I wanted to show you the silk-wool blend I found for a buck a skein (!) that Swan was patient enough to help me add up the yardage for. The green handspun destined to be a cardi for Walter. Among other things.

Sad, sad, sad.

I don't want to tell my stories until I can properly illustrate them, and I fear that by the time I find the camera and then the free time to post, everyone's Rhinebeck high will be spent, if it isn't already. *sigh*

I had a great time, I just can't prove it. I embarrassed the crap out of myself to the delight of Amy Singer (Oooooh, wait! Here's a pic!) and you can't laugh along with me/at me until I find the damn camera. Swan was a great hostess, as well as her hubby, Mr. CygKnit, and they both made fun of me for being adverse to peas (they pop and squish, ew.), and Swan's cat Olive treated me to dessert fondue, and there are no pictures yet because AAAAAAAAAARRRRRGHHH!

Okay. I'm going to check the cat's beds and under the couch again. Pout over.

Delayed reaction

2006-10-24T08:16:00.000-04:00

Got home yesterday. Serious sinus issues with the air pressure changes, so posting pics tomorrow. Sadly, after reviewing said pics, there aren't many taken at the actual festival...
Off to work a fourteen hour double! Yay! I love waiting tables!

Pardon the interruption

2006-10-19T08:54:00.000-04:00

I know no one reads this but my Swan, and I will be going to see her, so no one will really be terribly concerned if I drop off the face of the earth on this blog to go to RHINEBECK.

Back Monday, hopefully with pictures.

Gotta fly; can't keep sheep waiting.

Foot obsessed.

2006-10-15T11:46:00.000-04:00

What does this look like to you?
If you said "It looks like Lisa is teaching Jenn to make socks", you are correct. If you said "yarn", you are still correct but not very clever.
I bought two skeins of Malabrigo at the shop near my parent's house about a month ago, in Velvet Grapes and Indigo. So, we are making the exact same pair of super-easy short-cuffed slipper socks, going through together step by step until we each have one. Then, she's on her own.
I'm so proud of her. She turned a heel, made gussets, and almost the entire foot in one evening. We just have toes and kitchener left. And of course, she's already planning her next pair of socks.

Oh, yeah, I finished Yoshi's Xmas stocking. It's a bit dark and unconventional. Like Yoshi. I love it.

It's going to be absolute torture working a four minute drive from the LYS. (Have I not mentioned this before? Gee, wonder why.) I can't stay out of there. I started a pair of red socks in Wildfoote, Ragtime colorway. It is really fiery-looking, so I am trying to display the colors to their best advantage with some mild cables. If cabling is a bug, I am bit. Pics of that when they aren't embarrassingly small.

I also had a birthday, in case anyone couldn't tell by Swan's post. I am now thirty, and a little amazed I made it this far without anyone killing me for snarkiness. Yoshi got me some wonderful books and the best thing ever: the original Star Wars Trilogy on DVD. I cried, I shit you not.

Oh, and look. A picture of a bunny. I will be petting that bunny on Thursday.

Why I love Lisa

2006-10-12T14:28:00.000-04:00

(in a heterosexual kind of way)

1. It was love at first sight: I don't believe in that sort of silliness, but there it is. I was looking for a second job in August of 2001, and hit everywhere I could think of: bookstores, movie theaters, a cinema grill--everything. I was about to give up when I returned a call to my mom, and she suggested a little place she liked, Tijuana Flats. I'd never been in, but I was desperate for extra cash. Behind the counter of this sensory assaulting little almost-restaurant is this tiny little imp of a person, who greets me with a shocking amount of cheer. Over the next few minutes, we talk about...stuff. I don't remember what, only just the feeling of rightness. I think she felt it too. (She got me the job there, by the way.)

2. Lisa is a lot of fun to be around. The first time we hung out, it was mind-boggling in a way that makes the phrase "mind-boggling" sound very cheesy. There was talking into the night and much red wine and much, well, understanding. A mini-hurricane came through that night, whipping the trees outside my window. Even though debris was flying everywhere, we were hungry. So, of course, we decided it would be prudent to run across the eight lane road in front of my house in the middle of a hurricane to get to the 24 hour diner. And that was just the beginning of the evening.

3. Lisa taught me to drink. Not beer, not wine, but real liquor. My relationship with quality whiskey will never be the same. (That is a good thing, just so you know).

4. Lisa takes no shit from anyone. For a chicken like me, this is very admirable.

5. Lisa will set your shit straight. For those moments when you need someone to tell you that yes, your ass look huge in those pants, Lisa is your girl. That not enough for you? You need to someone to tell you that the problem is that your head is pretty far up your ass and you really need to get over yourself? Oh, my Lisa is your girl. And she will make you feel good about yourself, even though you have been shredded into leetle pieces (and deservedly so).

6. Regardless of what might or might not have been said at the time, Lisa is a kick ass roommate. Really. For 18 months she drove me absolutely crazy, but was a damn fine friend the whole time. Especially when it came to the ~~stupid~~ men in our lives.

7. I am a better person because of Lisa. No kidding. Whenever she drives me nuts its usually because of my own damn issues. Which I try to resolve when I realize I'm being the jerk.

8. One of my biggest regrets is not having Lisa as a bridesmaid for my second wedding. It took me a long time to see that the love I have for Lisa is a Big Thing. For the longest time, I couldn't figure out why, if we drove each other nuts, we still couldn't stay away from our friendship. See #5.

9. Lisa knits. Enough said.

10. If Lisa loves you, it will be the most intense experience of your life. It might kinda be like the roller coasters that make you want to yarf your hot dog, but it will be the best damn ride ever. And it won't stop. If Lisa loves you, you're hers for life.

Lisa, two years ago you laughed at me when I said "30 is the new 20." What say you now?

Insert triumphant music here

2006-10-07T20:24:00.000-04:00

Ta daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah!!!

Yes, I am very impressive. I received a lovely white envelope of emergency yarn from Swan at 4 PM Friday, and by 9 PM I was wearing these wrist warmers, including a nice long nap. Here I am in my work pants and undershirt modeling them for you.

I gotta get better clothes to model in.

The biggest dork I know

2006-10-05T21:25:00.000-04:00

I have been trying to explain to the people I work with what it is I am leaving town to do in two weeks. Of course, I am talking about Rhinebeck. When I say, Dutchess County Sheep and Wool Festival, I am certain they all think I am actually talking about some oddly titled jam band rock concert festival type of thing, until I explain that I get really excited about things like yarn and pointy sticks. And they all give me the same looks.

You know the looks.

The look says "You are crossing the country northward to do what??" The look says, "how many grandchildren do you have?" (Side note: I am two weeks shy of being thirty years old [gasp!] and I look like I am not old enough to have sexual relations with an adult. Not that anyone considers Yoshi an adult, but in the laws' eyes, you know...) The look says, "You must be the biggest dork I know."

But I know this. And I am more than okay with being the biggest dork most people around me know, including myself. I celebrate my dorkiness, revel in it, embrace my dorkitude with both arms (no lame assed one-arm hugs for my personal geekdom, no sirree). As Yoshi puts it, better the biggest dork I know than the biggest drunk I know.

Dork isn't a disease. Dweebie never hurt anyone. Geeky didn't start any wars. Famine isn't a by-product of nerdiness. In fact, without the passionately dorky people of the world, we would have greater health problems, hygiene would be in the dark ages, and just think of the public sewer system; only a huge freaking honking dork whose mother dressed him funny would think about how to send our humanly wastes away (because that's where it goes, away) by using water as an efficient and purifying transit method. Dork really translates into a strong commitment and passion for anything not ridiculously cool. Which I think is ridiculously cool in itself, so truly, I am the utmost of dorky cool. (Another side note: Geek chic is not dorky cool, despite semantic ramifications. It is a crappy trend. True dork endures.)

So, I spend a lot of my weekend nights at home alone, enjoying the quiet and playing with string and sticks while watching Harry Potter movies because I can't get the Terry Pratchett book on CD that Yoshi burned for me to play in the living room. I like to get up early on Saturday morning to go to the Farmers' Market and buy produce to make jams, jellies, and a kick-ass tomato sauce. I like Star Wars, comic books, sci-fi fantasy, and would really like to meet George R. R. Martin and smack his bearded face for not coming out with the next Song of Ice and Fire book a little sooner, because I need to know what happens with the damn dragons. I watch a lot of BBC America, Sci Fi Channel, Food Network, and DIY Network on television, my only willing pursuit into mainstream entertainment being House on Fox. So-the-fuck-what. You jealous or something?

People seem to have a real problem understanding why anyone would want to be a dork. Well, I will tell you; it's a lot more fun to be comfortable with yourself when you are just being who you are, than uncomfortable trying to fit into someone else's idea of who you should be. Don't get me wrong; I slip up with this all the time. I get a little embarrassed of myself; sometimes translated into a deeply unsettled shame that I can only bear by running crying from a crowded room. But part of being comfortable with myself has been learning to not get myself into that crowded room in the first place; it simply isn't where I belong. Self actualization is a bitch. I prefer my social situations small and intimate; I like my love life uncomplicated and monogamous; and I have very few friends, each and every one of whom might well take a bullet for me and knows without doubt I would do the same for them. A party in my honor might consist of less than ten people, but I know all their birthdays, middle names, and some of their secrets, and they mine.

Dork takes strength of character to live out. Dork means people look at you funny, and you just go on smiling and being very excited to be doing whatever dorky thing you are doing, and damn anyone who doesn't care to understand. Fuck 'em if the can't take a dork. And hey, if the fact that I am a knitter and obsessed with fiber is so freaking lame, why did you just ask me to make you a scarf?

I know where I belong. I know my place. It is as the Reigning Queen of Dorkdom in my immediate life.

Of course, I have to step aside and let Swan take up the mantle when I see her. Great Googly Moogly, is that girl ever dorky.

And she takes that from me as the highest compliment.

The things that I do while wasting my life

2006-10-04T13:25:00.000-04:00

And this is what I am on about today:

I am avoiding taking the car in for an oil change. It is just too boring to deal with on my precious day off. I'll go in about an hour.
I am really cranky about a pattern in the Fall '06 Vogue Knitting. Page 85. These socks do not match. There is only one chart for the colorwork, and it's not the one I like. What's the point of buying the mag if I have to figure out the color chart from a friggin' picture? I really like the front sock, but not so much the back sock, and we can all figure it out from there.
I am still bitching about those socks. I don't understand the toe or heel construction, and I fear it will be one of those things I have to learn by doing it, which means many nights of squinting at the pattern as it rests in the cookbook holder (we all have our methods) and trying to figure out what line of tiny text I just read. It looks like what I imagine a short-row toe and heel must be, but having no experience in these methods, how the hell do I know? I see a visit to the yarn shop lady in my near future if I decide to make these.
I am really, really happy for Stephanie and Joe. Notice, I am not including the link. If you are reading this, you know exactly who I am talking about, and what. If you don't, call me and I will teach you to knit in your spare time, and you will naturally progress in Stephanie's direction.
I am really, really awed that she decided to pull off finishing the book, the event from #4, as well as two major knitting projects all within, like, two days of each other. Makes me feel like a slacker. Oh, wait... I am a slacker. That explains it.
In fact, I am such a slacker that I really really hope there is an afterlife so I can totally waste that, too.
I have figured out what to wear to Rhinebeck. But not what to read on the plane. I have decided not to risk having any needles taken away from me in the interest of airline security. I will just have to survive the three hour flight without knitting. If Swan can do Yom Kippur, then this heathen can certainly do non-stop from Orlando to Hartford.
The mitt is so close to done that I have only six inches of my own yarn left and cannot wait until I get a package from Swan with the remaining yarn. So excited to finish them. Hatred for the second mitt has completely dissipated due to everyone in my house being really supportive and impressed at the reversed cable. Little do they know, it's only a matter of holding stitches to front or back. HAAAA, HAAAAAA HAAAAAAAAAAAH! Hey, I'll take encouragement wherever I can find it.
I love Swan's new socks. They are adorable.
I watched a really creepy and awful Japanese movie the other night called Audition. I hated it. Especially the torture scene; I couldn't find a larger meaning behind any of it (excepting perhaps the naivete of the main character, to which we are somehow meant to relate?), which is usually what makes horror movies bearable for me. But this one seemed a bit senseless. God, I hope I am missing something.
No, really, I cried when I saw Dawn of the Dead. Yoshi will never let me live it down. That's what I want in a horror movie; a little emotional complexity and passion. Oh, and Paris Hilton dying immediately.
Movie was pretty damn sexist, too.
The eggplant has come back into ridiculously huge full bloom. It is currently bearing somehting like 9 Ichiban eggplants. I can cut them off in about a week, provided the caterpillars don't come back.
Sadly, the cucumbers fell prey to the caterpillars. They now look like stringy green sticks sticking two inches out of the ground with cobwebs travelling up the trellis. So much for pickles.

And that's about it.

In which I blame everyone but myself

2006-09-28T18:46:00.000-04:00

So, we are in the swing of things with the new job, and it's time to get back to the regularly scheduled life I once had. Nevermind the past few weeks which were taken up with menu study, protocol study, and an odd lack of confidence I can't explain. I let myself get down, and it's time for the manic part of manic depression to begin again.

Upswing and onward! But you won't be able to tell, because I am going to talk about some really pissy stuff.

The mitts. I am really upset about these damn mitts. I have to rip them out and start over again, simply because it will take me less time to do that than to either tink back or pull the DPNs and pick up the stitches before the mistakes were made. Just so you know, never try to cable while catching up with an old friend on your hands-free cellular set. You will not only forget to click the clickety little row counter and totally lose track of the cable, but the stupid wire that runs from ear to shirt to cell (Bluetooth? What's Bluetooth?) will become knit somehow between two stitches on the needle. You will not notice this until you come all the way around twice, because your old friend is so freaking interesting. So, thanks a lot, Lindsay, you dirty bitch. I am blaming you.

What's more about the mitts, I will definitely run out of yarn in the middle of the second one. Swan sent me the Cascade 220 I am using for them, and is trying to find some leftover from the dyelot so I might be able to finish them. Otherwise, I can totally sport the Wacko Jacko one-mitt look at Rhinebeck. Bless her little pea-pickin' heart, I don't know what I'd do without her leftovers. I blame the postal service for not delivering the back-up yarn she's sending me sooner.

I was so excited about Yoshi's sweater. (Note past tense.) I was totally convinced that I had only two more rows of mindless stockinette in the round before I could divide for the arms, and then I checked the pattern, which tells me no, two more inches (which adds up to about ten more rows). I am converting something into the round, and I feel so clever about the whole thing, until I realize that I didn't look at the pattern and was relying on my measurements of Yoshi. Fucking ease and drape. I suppose if I really want him to have an oversized slouchy sweater, I should have considered these things. I blame the fool who told me I should trust the tape measure and not the pattern. I won't name any names. It's possible she doesn't exist. I blame her, though.

Lace? What lace?

In the five minutes I have had per day to devote to knitting, I am almost done with the fluffy cuff on his Xmas stocking. Fucking fluffy-ass yarn with its eyelashes and invisible nylon cord. I scoff at you, eyelash yarn! Scoff, scoff!

I am even having a hard time knitting in front of tv. Damn you, new season of House! Damn your interesting plotlines which will probably have the same effect on my knitting as talking to Lindsay!

Okay, for real now, I am going to go knit. And I am going to make something worthy of a photograph, whether it be me with DPNs piercing my skull, self-inflicted from my state of dementia, or something more, say, fabric-like in nature. And when it turns out golden and beautiful and perfect, I will take full credit.

And I had absolutely nothing to do with Olive getting ill. It was very noble of her to try to take the hit for Maggie, and I am sure she places no real blame on me. She has too much character for such nonsense.

And to Kelly: I was so sorry to hear about Maggie the Cat. I am sure she will be sorely missed.

2006-09-28T17:42:00.000-04:00

Dragon, your comment on Tuesday prompted me to immediatly try to kill my cat. Seriously.

So, here's the story:

After hearing of Maggie's plight, Olive the Cat decided to take some karma for the team. See, she had the scab on her back from repeated injections of fluids from when she was very sick way back in August. (That didn't make sense, let me try again: She had a reaction, the Vet thinks, to the needle they used to inject fluids.) The spot wasn't healing, and was getting worse; the Vet recommended I scrub the area with Betadine scrub (the foamy stuff for surgery, not the junk the nurse would pour on you in elementary school).

Now, scrubbing a cat isn't the best idea in the world. So when Olive was done and as rinsed as we could get her, we let her loose. Being a cat, she promptly started licking herself. Then, foaming at the mouth. Dripping long tounges of yellow foam, she started gasping and coughing as mucus flowed from her eyes and nose. It turns out, I poisioned my cat with iodine.
Maggie? Olive would like you to know that she's fine now, and she hopes that her suffering eases yours.

Dragon? Olive would like you to never ever mention me killing her again, ok?

To prove all is well, here's Ms. Olive herself, reclining on the laundry atop the dryer:

(Don't you just love the bra straps in the background?)

[Update: Maggie has passed. Olive extends her deepest sympathies to the family, and really wishes her karmic hit had worked.]

Evil, like the fru-its of the Devil

2006-09-25T22:59:00.000-04:00

You Are 66% Evil

You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.

How Evil Are You?

And there you have it. I can't get Blogger to tell you, but apparently, I am 66% evil. And I look just like that girl in the early morning.

There are no pictures.

2006-09-20T13:33:00.000-04:00

And that is because I have been working.

The second cabled mitt has been started and ripped out three times.

Nothing else has had any progress made upon it, excepting maybe adding one measley inch onto Yoshi's sweater, which requires EIGHTEEN INCHES before dividing for the armholes (I've asked him to shrink down, he refuses outright) so is that really progress? I say no. So, no pictures.

However, I am employed, and training is kicking my ass. Why do I need to memorize the recipes for twelve different salad dressings in order to wait on a table? Why do I need to study for hours on end while pressing (with heavy starch, no less) seven hundred and forty two white oxford shirts as well as a server's apron into sharp creases (you could get a pretty nasty paper cut off my shirt sleeves, I bet) when I can't even ring in an order and the trainer just says "Here's the computer, figure it out"? And high polish on the shoes, no flyaways in the hair, earrings smaller than a nickel, no unnatural makeup (yeah, that one was easy...), stand up straight with your arms at your sides, exude confidence and knowledge about the menu, anticipate the guest's needs, and above all, don't forget that you are there for the guest, so be gracious (read: subservient).

Hmm. If anyone ever reads this, please, please please, learn to appreciate the person who brings you your food and refills your damn water glass. Saying thank you never hurt anyone.

So. I have to go run a bajillion errands now, while reciting the red wine list over and over. They'll love that while I get my oil changed and grocery shop.

Make two.

2006-09-14T10:35:00.000-04:00

Here's the first cabled mitt, all ready for me to finish the thumb and weave in the ends. It's actually the second one I made; I had to rip out the first one (we'll call it a prototype) because of certain design flaws. I changed to ribbing on the edges instead of seed stitch, moved the cable over so the branches would line up with my fingers, and changed the recommended increases for the thumb gusset to something I found a bit neater.
Yes, that's a safety pin on my thumb.
Oh, and then I get to make another one. Damn my symmetrical body! Thank goodness I took really good notes.
Swan is sending me a small bit of the same yarn so I will actually have enough to make the second one... yeah. Design flaws.
But it matches my Pixie hat and I'll have several FOs to wear to Rhinebeck. Swan knows that the gauntlet has been laid down and she has to wear something she finished to Rhinebeck as well, and scarves do not count.

This is what I have done with myself while not working. I think I was reasonably productive. New job starts tomorrow morning at (ack!) 9:30 AM. I wait tables, people. I do not do mornings.

But I have some lovely stuff to make footies for Rhinebeck as well... If the second mitt only takes me two days like the first did (minus a good bit of dropping stitches and picking up a damn cable that missed a twist, as well as an increase that decided to not be there), then I will have head, hands and feet wrapped in wooly goodness. And a Cookie Monster!

It's taking over!

2006-09-07T11:34:00.000-04:00

This house is an unholy mess. And it's all my fault. I can't even blame Walter for this one; she's not allowed to play with the yarn.

For goodness sake, just look at all this yarn. It's insanity. There are two UFOs, an FO, and a lot of sock yarn here alone. As well, there is the PL Blankie that I was supposed to send out two days ago. Yeah. I suck. Also, that drawer is full of yarn, needles, and other crafty stuff.
Then there's the other end of the couch, with yarn catalogues, books, a box from Swan, and the finished Cookie Monster on it.

There's the entire coffee table (which is humongo, btw, and has really big drawers full of... you guessed it.). It currently supports no less than five pattern books, two UFOs, DVDs, more yarn catalogues, a book of graph paper I was using to design my new cabled mitts, and God only knows what's under all that. And of course, the drawers are in an even worse state of disarray, which is why this stuff isn't in them. Out of shame and a sense of human decency, I will not subject you to a picture of an open drawer.
There is the pattern library, which even though it looks fairly full, is not. Half my pattern and knitting books are all over the house. Oh, and there is another box from Swan that is conveniently holding all the great stuff she sends me, as well as a plastic bag full of paints for the Munny and some stickery-type stuff for it. You will notice, it is on top of a chest of drawers. Go on, guess what's in the drawers. You're probably right, unless you are ridiculously stupid.

I really thought that being unemployed meant I'd clean all this crap up. HA! So much for that great plan. Instead, I've played around with some designing, cabling up some fingerless mitts to match the Pixie hat for when I go to Rhinebeck...

That is one half day's worth of work. I'm pretty excited; I've never cabled more than a swatch.

I also had to play with Walter and style her hair.

She looks like Cindy Lou Who, doesn't she? And just so you know, her T-shirt says "Daddy drinks because I cry."

In other Walter news, her halter is finished... and really, really big on her. We're going to put a box pleat into the back so we can just rip it out when she gets bigger, but still wear it now.

Seriously, though. Jenn did a nice job, and was a bit heartbroken that it doesn't fit properly. We haven't re-checked gauge yet, but I'm sure we will just as soon as I clean up my entire house.

I did, by the way, wonder to myself why I was taking pictures of my entire mess rather than clean it up. It's because procrastination is a strange sort of virtue, and I wanted to do it as creatively as possible. Not because I'm really, really lazy.

And just so you don't think I really suck that bad, I do have a second interview today at my first pick for a new job. I nailed the living crap out of the first interview, and will be working again soon.

2006-09-03T12:18:00.000-04:00

There has been a rash of FOs over at Swan's site, and I can't have her showing me up. So in an act of amazing bravery and commitment, I prepared to seam up the Cookie Monster Sweater.

Eskimo helped. It took me literally hours to get my seams the way I thought I'd like them, with many cigarette breaks and walking away from it all to watch children and eat. But then again, it took me months to pluck up the vigor to seam it in the first place, so let's remember the important things, okay?

And then we block. Well, two days later, we block. A girl's gotta work.

I know; you really wanted to see me model it. Well, too damn bad. It's all wet right now, and I wanted to get the pics up now while I have time. And I look like Lazy Sunday Morning, so no pics of me, sorry. I assure you, it makes me look like the Cookie Monster.

And no, I have not yet secured myself some employment. I was busy finishing the sweater. Priorities, people!

So, what have I learned? Finishing ain't so bad; don't try it under any sort of influence, though, and that includes both chemicals and your cell phone. Treat it like driving. Knit Picks Suri Dream leaks a little dye when washed, so block on a towel that matches the color. I look pretty cute as the Cookie Monster (you'll have to take my word for it). Yoshi can get me Christmas presents that are great for a really long time. Hands down, the best present ever is yarn. And wet alpaca yarn smells like (you guessed it) a wet alpaca.

2006-08-29T18:35:00.000-04:00

Sometimes too much stuff happens all at once and I don't get to update here about all the goings on and then you are all uninformed. Sorry.

First off, there was a scorpion.
He was tiny. But still, a scorpion, and any scorpion is big enough to scare me, as I have never seen a scorpion outside of movies about cowboys in the desert. Not possessing a revolver, horse, cowboy hat, or even enough rope to hang a man for cattle rustlin', scorpions do not fall in my general catalog of everyday creatures. So, after the scorpion, there was a bug guy.

Then, there was a dish towel. A simple humble dish towel, so I can feel prepared in the event that Yoshi ever introduces me to his mother. Don't get me wrong, she lives far away and Yoshi barely sees her himself, not even holidays, and that is why I haven't met her in the year and a half we have been together, but still. I am important to him, and to the rest of the world that means I get to meet your mother. I understand it's just the convenience factor and he's not really a family oriented guy; and I love him for being different from the rest of the world. But really, I've been his girl for a while now, and I think that once it had been a year I should have some sort of hostess gift for her when I meet her. It's only polite.

He tells me she likes red things in her kitchen, so red cotton textured dishtowels seemed nice. If we break two years and I still haven't met her, I fear I may need to make her hot pads, as well. I am dreading the inevitable tablecloth.

Walter and her lovely mommy are still cute. Walter has managed to not destroy anything of mine lately. Oh, except my willingness to concieve a child of my own, but that is just maintaining the status quo. She's the best birth control I've ever been on.

And then there is the job. I am sad to say I have no pictures of me quitting my job; you will just have to trust me that it happened. YAY!

I went to the computer yesterday to see about updating my resume, and found it did not exist. I imagined it must be saved on my old computer, which was being stored at my parents' house (about and hour and a half drive away), so I called in the reinforcements (read: Daddy). He tried to hook up the ancient thing and see if he could find it, but for no good reason, the thing wouldn't turn on for him. So he drove all the way to my house this morning (gotta love a good Daddy) to bring it to me so I (read: Yoshi) could futz with it and see if my resume could be recovered out of it. Still, no go. So, I either have to make up a new resume and dredge up all that detestable history, trying to remember the name of some crap manager I had who I disobeyed in the name if good common sense or some address that I decided ages ago was best left forgotten (why else would I have forgotten it all? Maybe it was the drugs...), or I have to job hunt without it. Restaurant work is pretty easy to come by without a resume, so I put in an application today somewhere where I have a friend. It is unfortunate that I can't show documented proof that I can do a decent job, though.

Whatever; I can't be bothered with it with all this new yarn lying around.

Look how purty! Spring colors, and sock yarn. Swan just sent me sock needles, so I thought I'd give 'em a whirl. I'm thinking a slip stitch colorwork pattern or something. Not stripes. Maybe Fair Isle. Hmmmm. Ideas?

After I reconvened with Jenn (she hung out at the bookstore while I had my job interview), we felt our traumatized souls needed some good lovin', of the kind only delivered by the LYS. So, of course, while I am between jobs and can't really afford it, I had to indulge myself with some sock yarn. Walter had a great time at the yarn shop, btw. Lots of pretty colors and soft, soft, soft for her. Fortunately, the owner is really nice about babies in her shop, and was very gracious about the tiny terror trying to drool on the mohair.

I am also sad to say there are no pictures of Walter drooling on the mohair.

Jenn got some ridiculously soft baby blanket fodder, too; I am going to write her a pattern myself with log cabin techniques and minimal futzing. We're psyched.

Oh, and apparently there's a hurricane on the way. Gonna go stock up on batteries and beef jerky now. We've got emergency yarn, don't worry.

Proof positive

2006-08-22T14:06:00.000-04:00

I have the best boyfriend ever.

UPS just rang my doorbell, delivering a package from amazon.com. Yoshi had told me to expect them today, and to open whatever came. He's been anticipating a package for about two weeks now, and he said it was for me.

The box contained this.

I am overwhelmed. He must have really looked for something great for me, and man, oh man, he found it. It's the most beautiful book; clear color pictures, gorgeous colorwork. I guess he realized I need a new challenge, and I guess he decided it wasn't bookmarks. It's extreme fancy pants colorwork. When I think of the research he must have done to figure out that Alice Starmore was where I needed to go, I am amazed at his thoughtfulness. He must have also spent some time staring at my knitting library (reasonably extensive for my one-and-a-half year old knitting career) to make sure he didn't get me a double of something I already had, something that happened when he was indulging a new love he inspired in me (comic books, mostly Neil Gaiman; yes, I am the biggest dork you know).

I hope he realizes that now I need more yarn... And that now I have to knit him a Cosby sweater.

I fall in love with him a little more almost every day. And the days I don't for some stupid reason, he makes up for it the next day.

And sorry, ladies, he doesn't have a brother for you.

Nuff said

2006-08-21T00:00:00.000-04:00

You know, I hate to waste this. Blogger actually uploaded this picture on the first try tonight (not that I didn't try several times this afternoon), and all I wanted to say about it was, look how cool Henry Rollins is. Doesn't he look like he's ready for an interview, with his little smirk and his cute jeans?
By the way, for extra crafty props, I refinished that chair myself. Yeah, that is dragon brocade on the seat, what else would it be?
I rock. I'm going to go find something else to do now that will make me rock even more. And not in that creepy way the criminally insane rock, either.
And Henry would really like it, Swan, if Joey Ramone could perhaps sprout a head and come out to play.

Starting again

2006-08-20T14:13:00.000-04:00

I am getting to that dangerous point again, where I need to cast on a pile of stuff or tempt fate and be killed by too many FOs. What with the stocking so close to finished, Henry as well, and Yoshi's damn sweater boring me to death, I need something interesting. And the lace, well....

The lace is sitting at the bottom of the UFO drawer as we speak. The conditions needed to get some actual progress made on the lace occur so rarely that I have nearly given up on the poor dear. I keep thinking "Why didn't I make a bookmarker instead of trying for 46 inches of damn lace?" So I think I will start a rash of bookmarkers. I think Jenn can get into this, as well, because she wants to branch out a bit and I have so much crap yarn for her to swatch up with. Not to mention the leftovers. Every once in a while, Yoshi will ask me what I can do with the rest of a ball of yarn once I've completed something, and this may soothe his worried mind about the waste. But the lure of the Stitchionaries is powerful stuff, so I think Jenn and I should just start swatching. Cables! Lace! Funny shapes! Stripey checkerboarded goodness! Excitement and instant gratification!

Save the sweater for TV watching; I need something random and short and suitable for my spazz attention span.

We could start a whole movement of short-attention-span knitting. We could dye up some KnitPicks and make a thousand little strips of fabric in our own original colors to give to anyone who knows how to read. We could revolutionize the multi-tasking world with our do one thing at a time and do it REALLY REALLY WELL. We could focus. We could learn. We could never make huge ass sweaters again!

Ahh, pipe dreams.

Better go make some progress on the stupid scarf before I put on a beret and start resisting anything. Sigh.

The return of the PL Blankie

2006-08-18T13:48:00.000-04:00

I woke up this morning with a craving to warm up the world with garter stitch. Fortunately, Swan sent the PL Blankie back to me this week, so I threw on any old pants I could find and camped out on the couch for some me-time.If I look like I just woke up, there's a very good reason for that. I have developed a habit of taking the shirt Yoshi wore that day to sleep in. It's already warm against the cold sheets, smells like him, and it's just nice in general. So, yeah, that's why I look like that, in Yoshi's shirt, in which I slept, and yesterday's jeans.
Good things are happening. Along with the PL Blankie, Swan sent me some size 4 DPNs (Brittanys, no less!), and some gorgeous beaded stitch markers. Also a Chibi with tapestry needles (she's trying to get me to weave in her ends on the blanket, I just know it), a magnet, and two balls of super cheap bright red cotton to make Yoshi's mom a hostess gift in the event I ever meet her. Someday. Thanks, Chicky, but we have a bone of contention between us, don't we? I'm calling you out.

So, what's up with the ends, Swan? The rules for the project are as follows, as I sent them to her in a letter with the blanket:

You will have either two or three weeks (your choice, but let me know soon) to get this sucker back in the mail. Do as much as you can or care to, but here’s where the challenge is: Notice, I didn’t weave in any ends. You weave mine and I weave yours. That way, the challenge is to send me more grunt work than can I send you. It’ll get harder as it grows to do more than the last, but that’s why it’s a challenge. If you don’t like this idea, send it back with all my ends just a-danglin’ free and I will take the point. If you go over your two or three weeks, you have to weave your own damn ends and send me a present, and vice versa, and no, there is no grace period.

She went over her time limit and sent me presents. She did weave in my ends, but left me hers. Do I be big about it and just weave in her ends, or do I send it back in three weeks expecting her to do it all? I get the feeling I'm going to be extra nice to my friend. So, I hope everyone enjoys me pouting about it. Really, if this is my biggest problem, I'm doing okay.

Other good things happening: Had a good night at work Wednesday (which led me to not go apply elsewhere Thursday), made Yoshi peanut butter banana French toast, as well as a ham and cheddar gratin (he loved both), drank too much coffee, ate a lot of carrot cake, played in the book store, bought a good bit of junk food, got romantic with my man, started a pretty good book, and yeah. Just enjoyed. Life is not bad.

Except for the caterpillars. Apparently, their lives could be better, because they don't seem to be hanging out on the tomato plant any more.

So close to FOs that I am avoiding my real issues

2006-08-16T00:14:00.000-04:00

Had a long talk with the Swan this evening about the ennui. There's just too much to it that I don't want to say here in the interest of protecting the innocent (me, etc.) or not so innocent (not naming names, defeats the purpose, eh?).
So. In order to not discuss what I have already discussed, I kitchenered the Xmas stocking and did an assload of embroidery on Henry Rollins' face. And the back of his neck, and his arms, because that guy has a lot of tattoos.
In order to not get the eye to suck back into Henry's head, I came up with a Brilliant Plan. The Brilliant Plan was to stitch a small square of Aida embroidery cloth to the inside of Hank's head to provide stability and utilize the tiny holes to hold the French knots onto the outside of his wee head. And it worked!

I also duplicate stitched his hair on, which in practice did not go as planned. However, if one examines very recent images of Mr. Rollins himself, one will notice that the man is gone quite gray, so I left the patchiness in, in keeping with his recent changing of hair color. Oh, and lazy. Don't forget that I'm lazy. To make up for that, I added more of his tattoos.
Ooooh, sorry about the horrible picture....

I think he's charming, and hope Yoshi agrees. As of writing this, he is still at work, and has as yet to see the glory of the Search and Destroy punk rock icon of doom.
Just need to sew his legs on, stuff and seam him. Yay!! Yay weaving in ends as you go!!

So, the Xmas stocking...
Despite not knowing why, I kitchenered the toe shut. Maybe it as something to do with picking up the toe curl stitches from the sides, I don't know, but against my instincts I followed the directions. And it's... not bad. Need to do the toe curl and fluffy cuff, fluffy yarn pictured next to the stocking. See how nice the Noro looks? And how cool it's gonna be with the blue-grey fluff? Yeah.

OKAY peoples, I have been fighting Blogger for two days now to get the pics onto this post, so appreciate it, damn you. Seriously, I finished these things Tuesday. Yoshi loved Henry Rollins and the stocking still needs a curl and cuff. Hey, a girl's gotta go to work someitmes.

Late summer ennui

2006-08-15T12:24:00.000-04:00

I'm tired of hot. I know the rest of the country is dying in a heat wave and that of all places Sunny Florida is having a "normal" summer, but damn. I am tired of hot.
I am also tired of the temperamental central air in our house that doesn't realize that it is 65 degrees near the thermostat but 90 in my office.
Cranky.
Did a good bit of work on Yoshi's Xmas stocking last night. It is the Curly Toed Elf Slipper from Weekend Knitting, and yet again, patterns are not my friend. Couple things about it:

Gauge. I could only achieve gauge by doubling up the Noro Big Kureyon I chose for it, with the help of great yarn ladies in NC. It does say in the pattern, "use doubled throughout", so you may be thinking it's my own fault that I couldn't get gauge, but if you could see my copy of the book, you'd know. It's placed in an odd place to be telling me that the only way I can get gauge is to double up my yarn.
Toe instructions. It tells me to kitchener the toe closed and the pick up stitches around the graft and make the curl. Fine, but why kitchener shut stitches that I am about to pick up? Why not just knit on?
Um, that's as far as I got. I'm sure there will be more later. The self-striping Noro is really nice, though.

There are a pile of projects that need finishing work (Cookie Monster, Last Summer's Tank, Henry Rollins) and I just can't bring myself to work on them. Lace is sitting her happy ass in the drawer in the living room, patiently awaiting my return. I haven't touched her in about a week. Jenn is extremely excited about making jams and stuff and dreaming those big dreams about selling it, but I hate to reality check her. Really, we've made four things, and she wants a store front? Come on... Although those four things, really tasty. Strawberry lemon marmalade, carrot cake jam, watermelon jelly (which smells like vinegar but tastes like watermelon), and tomato sauce.

And we still have caterpillars, they don't care about dish soap at all.

I just want to nap until September, is that okay?

Damn bugs.

2006-08-09T16:10:00.000-04:00

There is a criminal in this picture. Sorry about the blurriness, but maybe you can make out the caterpillar munching shamelessly on Yoshi's tomato plant. We tossed one into the woods yesterday, and here's another one. Where are thay coming from?

And how do we send them back there?

Yoshi put a lot of work into this tomato plant. He didn't adopt little plants and raise them as his own; he planted his own seeds and they are his very own babies. If only we knew how to keep the babies from hanging out with the wrong crowd, like FUCKING CATERPILLARS.

What to do? I thought having no kids meant I didn't have to worry about this kind of thing. Not that I really believe there is a comparison, but damn.

Tomorrow we make watermelon jelly. Mmmmm, watermelon jelly. And make a decision about insecticide. Sad.

Many pink things

2006-08-08T14:03:00.000-04:00

In our perpetual quest for crafitness, Roomie (hell, let's call her Jenn. She has very little innocence left to protect.) and I decided that canning was the next natural step. I ordered a great book from my book club, and we set out to purchase lots of super fun equipment and produce, and then try not to burn ourselves.
We started out at the Farmers' Market/Flea Market near my mom's on Sunday. Kind of a wash, honestly. We couldn't find any of the produce we really wanted (mostly tomatoes and peppers), so we settled for plants. We acquired pickling cucumbers, and for no good reason, eggplant. It just looked really cool, and since when I say "we are going to grow cucumbers and eggplant", what I really mean is "we are going to talk Yoshi into growing us cucumbers and eggplant", well, you know. I thought it would be interesting for him. I have no idea what to do with canned eggplant. But whatever, it looked good. When they all grow up, we will make dills with fresh dill from our herb garden.
We then hit two different Ace hardware stores for canning tools. We thought that since we were out in the sticks, it wouldn't be so tough to find, but man. We ran all over. We were really hoping to find something at the flea market, but oh well.
Bought some produce at the Albertson's, and then....
We made Strawberry Lemon Marmalade! We did not burn off any appendages!!
Here's Jenn playing in the boiling water after I said "Open the pot, hold the tongs and try to look convincing."

I think she did very well. I am totally convinced.
Skimming foam off of boiling strawberry sugar mess is not as easy as it sounds. I never felt like I got it all, but Jenn was satisfied, and she's pretty obsessive compulsive, so I figured it would be okay.
Ewww. Foam.

Here it is, all processed. Does anyone know why the hot jars seem covered in some powdery stuff when you take them out of the pot and they air dry a second? We figured hard water, but I don't really know. We got brave and rolled the jars around a bit to get the gel you see in the bottom to mix through, and now every jar (20 hours later) is uniform and pinky pinky.

We had extra that we didn't get to can; wouldn't fill up a jar. I ate it on toast for breakfast. It was fucking phenomenal.

And for anyone who can't stand the suspense any longer, here is the Walter Halter. It needs the body finished up, one quick seam and the kid is dressed to kill. It is, in fact, much pinker than it shows here. And if you take the cups before overlapping them onto each other and hold them up to my body, Walter and I have the same sized boobs.

mermaid hair

2006-08-05T08:24:00.000-04:00

Mermaids knit better with beer, donchaknow.

We hit the beach for some hot SEX!

2006-08-04T12:18:00.000-04:00

Stash enhancement expedition, that is.

So much to say... Yoshi and I made a short trip out to Cocoa Beach (about an hour away) to check out a yarn shop I hadn't seen yet, All Strung Out. Nice lady, Gail, who owns and runs the place, immediately thought she knew me. Alas, no, there's no way she could, because I live under a rock with lots of yarn. Her shop, complete with the Colinette Wall:

The careful observer will notice Yoshi's arm next to the Colinette. Who knew he had such expensive tastes? Ms. Gail said he was such a great catch to sit quietly while I picked out yarn. I told her she was right.: Here's how happy Yoshi was to go to shop for yarn an hour from home:

He's singing. No, really, singing. Not crying at all.

We went for lunch at a place on the beach where the waitress actually hit him with a menu. On the head. On purpose. Yeah, he liked it. I told her he would after she accidentally stepped on him.

So, here's my treasure from Cocoa:That's about 1200 yards of green silk. Sweater baby, yeah! And impulse sock yarn. Evidently not well-thought-out sock yarn, as socks drove me mad, black yarn makes me barmy, so the obvious conclusion was black sock yarn. I am so brilliant, it makes me nauseous just to think about it.

Other random bits: I was lately defeated by a Slim Jim wrapper, found a meat market/produce stand with the weirdest stuff outside an Asian grocery store I've ever seen, was extremely saddened by the end of You Knit What? , offended someone I don't even know by not caring what they think of me, and I am still homeless for Rhinebeck. Cyn and I need to get on a room, asap.

Speaking of Cyn, where's the PL Blankie?

Success!

2006-08-01T12:06:00.000-04:00

Our plot for Swan's birthday went off spectacularly. I got Mr. Swan in on it on Friday night, making sure that no inappropriate purchases were made until the gift arrived. I hear he had a blast singing the "I know something you don't know" song all weekend. After telling him, I just waited in the wings to hear from her. Apparently, Janet from The Wheel Thing sent Swan an email, which she opened Monday morning and then promptly emailed me. Here's the email, completely unedited:

I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU!!!!!

Honestly, I don't know what to say. I am amazed. Big, mindblowing, can't comprehend kind of amazed.

I'm not ashamed to say that I cried at work when I saw Janet's email.

As I will get to in the blog (I started a post today that Blogger ate), this was a kind of crazy weekend (we still don't have internet). 18 hours with no electricity (we took off after 14). Wheel shopping, farm visiting, mountain climbing, AT hiking kind of crazy. But nothing is nearly as cool as what you organized, sweetie. I honestly haven't been able to comprehend that yet. I would like to say wonderful things, here, but I'm likely to cry again. Hell, if I could think, I will cry anyway, not caring that I am at the reference desk. Shocked, just shocked. That's where I am.

You are a Captain, with a hell of a pirate crew.

I love you,
Cyn

Yeah, that's me. I'm a pirate captain. I always knew it way deep down inside. Think I'll go get some sparrows tattooed onto my arms now.

When I phoned her last night, she couldn't stop squealing and stammering. It was delightful in a high pitched unintelligible sort of way.

Yeah. We did good.

Oh, Boy. Who knew this would get so involved?

2006-07-27T14:58:00.000-04:00

Dragon here. I had no idea the response to Swan's birthday would be so great, so here's a few tips so we can keep secrets:

I am hestitant to post my personal email anywhere, so please send a generic comment that says you want in on a gift for Swan (aka CygKnit) to this blog; be sure to include an email address. I will then email you my personal email address, and we can talk privately.

We only have a few days!!! And thanks to Kelly for the awesome idea, I say we run with it. I'll tell you what it is if you please just ask!!

You all generous types rock. Let's make this a crazy great birthday for her to remember forever.

Dragon

Swans getting older.

2006-07-27T01:17:00.000-04:00

I just want to make everyone (or anyone at all) aware that Swan is having a birthday on the 30th. I got her something special that I can't post about because she will read this, but it is wonderful and she will love it. If anyone wants to know, check back in a few days and you'll see pictures. The stuff she knows about is:

A needle case that the Roomie and I made for her. Okay, Roomie has all the sewing machine skills, but I bought the materials and she put it together. She already has it, here it is.

(I have one like it, but brown outside and blue inside. Hey, fabric comes in bulk, people.)

She is also getting some of the stuff I dyed myself; two of the colors are headed north.

A home movie of my stash. It's an inside thing.

Plus, a fabulous surprise.

If anyone wants to send her something, check out her blog and send her an e-card, or an email gift certificate to a great yarn shop, or contact me through my blog and I will collect donations toward her spinning wheel. Or, hey, we could just agree on a shop near her (Connecticut) and send her a gift certificate to there.

She deserves it. And I know she'd do this for me come October 12. Hint, hint, Swan.

And I promise, I will get a picture of Roomie knitting the Walter Halter. I'm so proud of her, I could bust open, but then she'd have to mop up, so I'll keep myself contained.

Hail, the conquering hero!!

2006-07-26T13:44:00.000-04:00

Daylight hours? Check. Yoshi off to work? Check. Walter-free quiet house? Check. Ruined lace? Stitch markers, pattern, DPNs two sizes too small, tiny crochet hook, lifeline on an embroidery needle, strong coffee in favorite Pooh mug with way too much sugar for the average person to survive? Check, check, checkity check check check. Guts? Check.

Let's fix this lacey bitch.

Here we are, halfway through, where I decided to stop holding my breath for a minute and get a picture.

Now, I know what you are thinking. It's so short, why didn't I just frog it and start over? It's my first lace. I want it to be special, and by that I mean perfect the first time no matter what. So, repair. I pulled back to a plain row (purl row, rest row, whatever you care to call it) and then very painstakingly pulled each individual stitch at a time and picked up the loop it just came out of. Hard on the eyes, trying on the patience (even though it is only 51 stitches). Put each stitch on a smaller DPN to ease the stretching (went from US size 4 to DPN size 2), count, then slip all stitches onto appropriately sized needle to continue. Count. Count again. Read stitches and pattern to figure out what row I'm on, run a lifeline, and move on. Simple plan, no?
And executed well. Proper stitch count? CHECK!!

Some of the stitches look a bit wonky, but one or two tiny twisted stitches aren't going to drive me barmy like pulling the whole thing out would have.

I'd like to thank the great ladies at the Knitty Coffeeshop Forum who helped me with good advice and support. I really would have lost my mind if I'd thought I was alone in this, so Robincat, Sanny, Batty, Purler, and Fiberbliss, dear wonderful people, thank you.

I'm done now. Repaired lace on properly sized needle? Soothed knitter? Live child? CHECK!

Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying

2006-07-26T00:21:00.000-04:00

Yoshi took me out for dinner last night. It was coming time to see if I wanted dessert, and i excused myself to the ladies'. When I came back, Yoshi asked if I wanted fried ice cream, and I said I don't know, what does my belly say?
He laughed harder than I've seen him laugh in a while.

The weekend was not as bad as it could have been. Yes, I missed my brother and thought about him a lot, but Yoshi was good at distracting me and we had a good time. Saw a few movies, had some good food, not a bad weekend.

And then there is Hank. I finished Hank's head, and started to embroider his face and hair. Notice his decidedly bald and blank expression? Didn't work out so great.
Trial and error taught me that it will be best to start his hair at the top and work down. Funny decrease lines are not easy to duplicate stitch. And then there is his face. I put the french knot eyes on and then used the same strand to start his mouth, which kept coming out a bit wonky. Pulled out the mouth a few times, trying to get it straight and properly smirking. Then his left eye sucke itself right into his head. It was really oddly horrifying, because I've never seen an eye suck back into someone's head before. I know we're just talking abot knitting, but it was disturbing. I have come to think of him as a person, and when my little person's eye pops backwards into his head, I was slightly shocked. I pulled him inside out and popped the eye back into place. (Why it doesn't bother me to turn my little person inside out, I have no idea) Flipped him back, barely touched the replaced eye, and POP! there goes the other eye.
I put his bothersome little ass down for a while.
Haven't started to repair the lace yet, but the Roomie has started (and made excellent progress upon) a halter for Walter. (Oh, that's funny and I didn't even realize.) And I helped!
Will post pics of the Roomie knitting next time. I taught her all by myself, and I am so proud of her. maybe I'll even give her a name here, to celebrate.

Walter on the shitlist

2006-07-24T14:31:00.000-04:00

I may have to kill Walter. Poor child doesn't even know it's coming.

Saturday, while I was at work and wondering what I was doing there, Walter's mommy decided to clean up the house. So, while vacuuming, Walter took advantage of the turned back and got hold of the lace. My lace. Which it took several hours of un-Walter filled space and time for me to even get to the second repeat.

She pulled it halfway off the needle. Let me give you all a moment to absorb that, and catch your breath.

Walter's mommy found her waving it over her head like a flag, just twirling away, happy as can be to destroy several hours of my hard concentration. She yelled in a spirit of either horror or discipline, I am not sure which, or if there was a difference. Walter cried. Mommy tried (badly) to get the stitches back on the needle. At least she tried, but she has only mastered a purl and k2tog on her last project, and lace is not part of her knitting education yet. We have completely lost a stitch marker, and for the life of me I cannot find two lost stitches.

The gals at the Knitty Coffeeshop Forum have tried to help and console, but I am going to need more than help on this one. I am going to need several hours of Walter-free house, quiet and undistracted to pull it back and fix it. And a box of Kleenex with the lotion in it for all the tears I plan to shed while pulling the rows back to a comprehensible place from which to go on. And a tiny, tiny crochet hook, which thanks to a lovely trip to North Carolina, I have already.

The plan is to pull back (I can't stand the term ripping back, it just sound too violent for what I want to happen) to a plain purl row, and pick up very slowly and carefully while unknitting a row. After which I have to figure out what row I am on now, run a lifeline, and put a padlock on a knitting basket so this never, ever happens again.

If this doesn't work, Walter will definitely lose a finger.

I hear Yarn Harlot had a similar experience recently, so at least I am repairing in good company.

Corn! Not Porn!

2006-07-21T13:37:00.000-04:00

This is Yoshi's container garden. He has (left to right) tomatoes, tiny hot peppers, and corn. They have names and everything; the peppers were first, and are named Hank (Henry Rollins, go fig), the corn is Jonathan Davis (appropriate), and the tomatoes are Tomatoes. He's an ironic genius. Until today, the corn was two stalks. Here, you will notice it has one stalk, because we just ripped the sucker out. Why? It was done. It gave up its corny goodness and would produce no more, so we are giving the other stalk all the chances we can to give us corn. Apparently, we like our poo colorful.

So, here's the corn we picked today. Yoshi thought it was weird-looking, so we are preserving its weirdness in photo and blog form. We like weird at my house, even though we live in carbonless copy suburbia. Go see Over the Hedge; I live in that neighborhood, I swear. The place popped up overnight and every house is the same. Since we rent, we won't tear up the yard, hence the container garden, which produces weird-looking corn. Yoshi think the corn would be less weird-looking if it grew in the actual ground; maybe it knows it will move out of the 'burbs one day and into a home with a soul, and is acting out.Since I didn't know how long corn would live off the stalk and in the husk, I got Yoshi to shuck it. It smelled just like my childhood. I lived in Nebraska until I was 13. and driving through the countrysides there smelled exactly like shucking corn. Surprised? Neither am I.
I cut it off the cob, and noticed that with so much exposed endosperm, it would make great creamed corn. I am thinking of supplementing Yoshi's weird looking corn with store-bought fresh corn to make this. Or just cutting the recipe waaaaay down, and making the cornbread. I think I was a bit hasty with getting it off the cob. Yoshi does really like making up his own recipes, so we may just wing it. There's plenty more corn to grow.

This is what I am doing with my mental health day. I was going to knit, but nothing is calling my name right now. I considered going to Cocoa Beach to check out a yarn shop I haven't been to yet, but have no partner for a short road trip. And I can't be spending anyway, because I have to save up for Rhinebeck and I may be unemployed.

My GM called me at home today and told me how much he loves me working for him, and that if I need anything I should just ask. They really want me to stay at my job. Hell, I really want to stay at my job, just to avoid the hassle of breaking in a new job. So, I don't really know what to do. Think I'll wait till the weekend is over and see how I feel.

In the meantime, I am faking Jewish with corn.

Life isn't fair

2006-07-21T01:19:00.000-04:00

I tried to quit my job tonight and they wouldn't let me. I just wanted to go away and never come back, and they wouldn't let me. WTF?
I wait tables. I deal with the public. So, I deal with idiots all the time. And that's fine. I know there is no way my restaurant can control who comes through the door expecting food and service. But I have been under too much strain lately (more on why later) and tonight I just broke. I made less than ten percent of my sales in tips. In case no one knows, I am required by law to declare my earnings at a minimum of ten percent of my sales, and any tip I make with a paper trail must be included (like credit card tips). I am so tired of tourists and cheap assholes. I can't make my bills if this keeps up. So I told two of my managers tonight that I wasn't coming back.
They balked. They sympathized. They asked me to stay in very flattering ways. They offered me some time off (like I can afford it, and as if I wouldn't use the time to job hunt). Eventually, I conceded. I had to. I care about my job. I can't help it; I am a professional.
I know what you are thinking: Professional waitress? What? Yes, there are career waitresses out there. It is a good job with (normally) good money, flexible hours, and an honest living. It is hard work, and when a restaurant finds someone like me who takes the job seriously, they evidently want to keep me on. I know, you've been waited on by college students and stupid people your whole life, but if you were sitting in my section, I'd show you what service is supposed to be like.
So, yeah. They asked me to take Friday off, come back Saturday and talk to the GM. See if a day would give me some perspective.
It won't, but I said I'd do it. So I have to be in Saturday morning as if it were any other Saturday morning to discuss this crap. I think I will give them two weeks' notice. It's the only professional thing to do. And dammit, I am a professional. I have dignity. I do care about my job, whether I wantot stay there or not.

So, why am I extra strained right now? Sunday. Sunday is a black day. Anniversary of my brother's death. Let's get throught he usual questions, shall we?
Eleven years ago, July 23, 1995. It was a car accident. He was stone sober. I know because I was in the car. It was raining and slick on the road. He was the best friend I ever had and nothing will ever make it any better. Time does not heal grief, it just makes the time longer. And it has just been so long. I take one day out of every year to mourn and remember him as best I can, but this year, it is really hitting me hard.
I will get back to this later.